In some cases, you can't avoid people or completely ignore them. In times like that, an INFJ may talk to the person, but they'll be emotionless, distant and cold. Even the nicest people can't stand everything. Dealing with such a contradicting personality may be exhausting and maddening.
It's still good for them to express their feelings, but they usually do that for validation and acceptance. They already know what their feelings are. INFJs, in contrast, often externalize their feelings to get advice, to sort them out, to understand them.
Being cold and “heartless” is just an INFJ's surface personality, it's usually not real. They feel things very deeply, are sensitive and let things get to them easily. However, at times, INFJs can be really cold. If you did something wrong, INFJs got hurt and don't want you around anymore, that's how they will act.
Like me, many INFJs become victims of emotional stacking—bottling up our emotions to avoid disharmony or conflict. But it can be a little more complicated. There are several reasons INFJs are afraid of opening up to others. If these seem familiar, you aren't alone; I can own up to each cause without question.
Because of how INFJs deal with past pain, they're likely to have similar reactions to trauma. These include: Avoiding people, places, or things that remind them of the trauma. Experiencing fear and anxiety about the outside world.
INFJs will not reveal their feelings to someone they love or admire until they are absolutely sure that the person feels the same way. I personally have a self imposed wall around my heart and who I let in because I want the woman I love and marry to know and understand a side of me that no one else knows.
Of course, not all INFJs are depressed, and INFJs are certainly not the only Myers-Briggs personality types to struggle with depression. However, due to our sensitive nature, as well as our unique way of seeing the world, it's not uncommon for us INFJs to deal with depression at some point in our lives.
Advocate (INFJ) Weaknesses. Sensitive to Criticism – Advocates aren't averse to feedback – that is, unless they believe that someone is challenging their most cherished principles or values. When it comes to the issues that are near and dear to them, people with this personality type can become defensive or dismissive.
Usually, they will get more withdrawn and stuck in their head when they're angry. They might try to shut off noise, lights, or find a room they can hide away in to deal with their thoughts and charged emotions. Some INFJs shut down and stop talking and reacting, trying to sort out their thoughts inside.
9. You cry easily. This one is especially problematic, as it often happens at very inopportune or embarrassing moments. Like all Feeling types, INFJs are prone to random tears.
INFJs often lock out their emotions when they're upset. These often try to process their thoughts before reacting, which is why they might keep quiet or shut people out when aggrieved. The last thing they'd want to do is to react without consideration.
Kindness. As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
INFJs are sensitive souls who are easily overwhelmed, but they have their limits. If they feel stressed by their environment, or the people in it, they'll tend to cry or become very quiet and want to be alone. Some INFJs will be cold, sarcastic and very blunt or speak to someone only on a very superficial level.
Too many details or other sensory stimuli can provoke a stress reaction in INFJs, especially when you feel uncertain about a situation. Unexpected environments, events or interruptions unsettle you greatly since you are forced to focus on immediate, sensory details rather than relying on your intuition.
However, time and time again, INFJs have told me that they get uncomfortably awkward around their crushes. They giggle more, trip over things more, and make self-deprecating jokes to try to ease the tension.
In my experience as an MBTI® practitioner, one of the most common struggles I hear from INFJs is the struggle of being misunderstood. INFJs feel misunderstood in their external environment and even by themselves.
INFJs are extremely observant, and it's easy for us to see all the many ways in which we don't fit in with the groups around us. What is much more confusing though, is why we don't fit in. This leads most INFJ personality types to feel alone, misunderstood, rejected, or weird (and not in a good way).
INFJs have great insight into people and situations. They are creative with deep feelings and strong convictions that guide their lives. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and they are generally doers as well as dreamers.
Perhaps the most telling sign of burnout is a dwindling passion for your job, or doubt about whether this is the job for you. When you have become entirely spent, the amount of energy you can dedicate to your job starts to dwindle. When INFJs can't give their 100 percent, we start second-guessing our decisions.
(What's your personality type? Take a free personality assessment.) INFJs aren't the only personality type to suffer from emotional burnout and exhaustion, but it's a common problem that almost all INFJs experience at some point in their lives. That's because we have several personality traits that make us prone to it.
Yes, the INFJ could be withdrawing from you because they realize they aren't really interested in you in that way. They may want to remain friends, but they're afraid to say those words out loud, in case they lose a relationship with you completely.
INFJs are no exception to this rule, and when they become overly stressed they may display a dark side that includes angry outbursts, obsessive worrying, perfectionism, or even depression. When INFJs first encounter stress, they start to behave very true-to-type.
Stressed or unhappy INFJs are often tired of trying to make people feel good. They stop caring what people think and about “blending in” socially. In fact, they may feel a sense of relief in laying out criticisms, nitpicking other people's statements, or even starting a debate over the logic of something.
When INFJs care about someone they try to shine a light on that person's hidden strengths or even obvious positive qualities. It's important for them to make someone they love feel appreciated, uplifted, and inspired to embrace what makes them unique.
Because they are often reserved, high-achieving individuals with high expectations of both themselves and others, INFJs can be intimidating to other personality types. Since INFJs are also the rarest personality type, many people misunderstand them.