Yes, crying can be a key part of an autistic meltdown, but it's one of many possible reactions to being completely overwhelmed by sensory or emotional overload, not just sadness. A meltdown is an involuntary loss of control where the brain can't cope, leading to behaviors like crying, screaming, hitting, rocking, or shutting down, which are signs of distress, not manipulation like a tantrum.
Meltdowns can be expressed verbally (eg, shouting, growling, or crying), physically (eg, kicking or flapping) or a mixture of both ways. An autistic person will lose control of their behaviour because they are completely overwhelmed and are unable to express themselves another way.
One of the difficulties for children with autism is sensory dysfunction (sensory sensitivities and thresholds). A noisy environment, too many people around, or someone bothering them can be intolerable, causing them to scream as a form of warning or complaint.
Stay calm and empathetic
Avoid reacting with frustration or panic, as your emotional state can influence theirs. Speak softly, maintain a soothing tone, and reassure them that they are safe and supported. Demonstrating calmness can help de-escalate the situation and create a sense of security.
Autistic meltdowns can last from ten minutes to an hour or longer, but often last at least 20-30 minutes past the removal of the initial trigger (potentially longer if the trigger is not removed or resolved).
The "6-second rule" for autism is a communication strategy where a speaker pauses for about six seconds after asking a question or giving information, giving the autistic person extra time to process it without feeling rushed, which helps reduce anxiety and allows for a more thoughtful response, reducing frustration for both parties. Instead of repeating or rephrasing, which can be confusing, you wait, and if needed, repeat the exact same words after the pause.
Around 90% of autism cases are attributed to genetic factors, meaning autism is highly heritable, with many different genes contributing, rather than a single cause, often interacting with environmental influences during early brain development, though specific environmental factors don't cause it but can increase risk. Twin studies show strong genetic links, with concordance rates between 60-90% in identical twins, and research points to complex interactions of many genes and prenatal/perinatal factors.
Breaking Down the 6 Stages of an Autism Meltdown
Yelling at an autistic child can cause confusion, fear, and emotional distress that may last far longer than you'd expect. Because autistic kids often process language, tone, and emotions differently, loud voices can be overwhelming—sometimes even physically painful.
A meltdown, on the other hand, is typically a more intense reaction to being overwhelmed. While a tantrum is often about wanting something or trying to avoid something, a meltdown can happen when a child's emotions or sensory input becomes too overwhelming to handle.
People with ASD often have problems with social communication and interaction, and restricted or repetitive behaviors or interests. People with ASD may also have different ways of learning, moving, or paying attention. It is important to note that some people without ASD might also have some of these symptoms.
The methods they suggested was Cry it Out or Controlled crying – two techniques I would never recommend for an autistic and anxious child – I will explain why as we go on. None of these methods helped and instead left me as a parent in a world of guilt and frustration for allowing my child to cry for hours each night.
There is some evidence that the core symptoms of autism abate to some degree in adolescence and young adulthood 3, with improvements in communication skills most common. Social impairments and repetitive behaviors tend to persist into adulthood.
However, autistic meltdowns are not age-related and they may happen at any age. Many autistic adults, especially the higher functioning ones, may learn some strategies to prevent meltdowns and cope with them.
What is Sensory Overload?
Interoception and Autism
This means we might have difficulty accurately perceiving our internal body signals, we may over-feel these signals or simply have difficulty differentiating between body signals and emotional signals, for example, struggling to discern if our discomfort is due to hunger or anxiety.
Disciplining An Autistic Child Through Understanding
Many autistic children show continuous improvement in trait severity until they are school-age, at which point progress often levels off. Autism trait severity decreases from age 3 to 6 in most autistic children, but that progress then stalls for nearly three-quarters of them, according to a new long-term study.
Autistic individuals often experience and express love and connection in ways that can differ from neurotypical expectations. Communication for autistic people in relationships tends to be direct and literal; understanding nonverbal cues can sometimes be a challenge.
Many autistic people will show signs of distress before having a meltdown, which is sometimes referred to as the “rumble stage”. They may start to exhibit signs of anxiety such as pacing, seek reassurance through repetitive questioning or physical signs such as rocking or becoming very still.
The majority of experts believe that autism persists throughout the lifespan, but your child's symptoms can improve as they get older. There are several things you can do as a parent to ensure that your child has the happiest, most meaningful, and healthiest future possible: Advocate.
Let's look at some effective strategies:
While the exact reasons are not yet clear, changes in how the disorder is defined, increases in screening, and more awareness certainly contribute to this increase. If you have any concerns about your child's development, speak to a healthcare professional about diagnostic tests.
Additionally, inherited genetic variations contribute greatly. Research shows that both mothers and fathers can carry autism-related gene variants. Some of these are common variants that increase the risk of autism, while others are rare mutations causing more severe effects.
We reviewed 36 studies examining maternal diet and autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and found that prenatal vitamin/multivitamin use and adequate intake of folic acid and vitamin D were each associated with lower likelihood of having a child with ASD.