How is gaslighting a narcissist possible? Victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse can gaslight a narcissist by remaining defiant and holding onto their version of reality, using the gray rock method, and making progress every single day on their healing journey.
The definition of gaslighting is the use of tactics to manipulate another individual's reality. It is a form of psychological manipulation and abuse. The goal of gaslighting is to foster and grow seeds of doubt in a person, making them question their own reality, memory, judgement, and perception.
Perhaps the most damaging form of gaslighting, reality manipulation is what most people imagine when they think of gaslighting. In the film “Gas Light,” the husband uses reality manipulation to try to convince his wife that she is losing her mind.
Narcissistic gaslighting examples of this tactic include suggesting you're “confused,” “mixed up” or “misremembering.” Alternatively, they may take the opposite approach, saying something like, “I have no memory of that” or, “I don't know what you're talking about.”
Tease, ridicule, and shame them mercilessly for not trying to figure out right from wrong, instead, pretending to have it all figured out. Stay calm, even friendly, to the person cowering inside their absolute narcissistic fake infallibility cloak. Stay light, even humorous. It's nothing personal.
Avoid playing their games, and just ignore them when they try to manipulate you so they don't have control anymore. Don't argue with a narcissist because they might just keep escalating things until they get their way. Someone with NPD is incapable of seeing things from your point of view. Just ignore them.
The best way to destroy a gaslighter is to appear emotionless. They enjoy getting a rise out of you, so it's frustrating to them when they don't get the reaction they expected. When they realize you don't care anymore, they will likely try convincing you they'll change, but don't fall for it.
A genuine apology involves taking responsibility for one's actions and expressing remorse for the harm that was caused. A gaslighter who is truly sorry for their behavior will acknowledge the impact of their words or actions on the person they have hurt and will make an effort to change their behavior in the future.
10 Signs & Red Flags You're Being Gaslighted. If you recognize these signs in your relationships, you may be the victim of gaslighting; they include denial, minimization, blame-shifting, isolation, withholding, causing confusion or doubt, criticism, projection, narcissism, and love bombing.
Gaslighting in a relationship is about power, domination, and often fear of losing control. Often a gaslighter will use some of the following tactics to maintain control over their partner: They use their love as a defense for their actions.
It is unlikely that ignoring a gaslighter will result in them stopping this behavior. Arguing with a gaslighter is also futile as the chances of them admitting they were wrong are very low. It is better not to argue and to stop explaining yourself and seeking their approval.
Gaslighting can be part of a narcissistic personality, but it is not a core trait of narcissistic personality disorder. A narcissist may be self-promoting and feel superior to others; a gaslighter aims to make another person question their own self-value.
They are often driven from agitation into an aggressive rage with a simple trigger. Any small play against their ego, perfectionism, or a slight action against their image of self-worth, may be enough to trigger narcissistic rage.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
It's not uncommon for a narcissist to stalk and harass those who break up with them, to release intimate photos or texts (also known as “revenge porn”) of their former significant others, or to go out of their way to slander the work of someone who does not confirm their grandiose view of themselves as all-knowing.
In the first few weeks narcissists will say things like: "You're my soul mate." "I've never met anyone like you before." "You understand me so much better than anyone else."
Narcissists tend to be incapable of something called "object constancy," which means they struggle to have positive feelings at the same time as negative ones. Once they are fired up for a fight, they can be incredibly cruel, because all they can comprehend in the moment are feelings of resentment and anger.