If you are dating someone with autism, it is important to be open to learning about the unique person you are dating. Try to understand their likes, communication style, frustrations, and annoyances. Be patient with the learning process, and be patient with your partner in their ways of doing things.
Many women with autism need alone time to focus on their special interests or recharge their social battery. Their need for alone time may alienate their partner and make their partner feel unloved or unwanted. And, this can cause major challenges in a romantic relationship.
Being able to share needs and desires openly is extremely important when dating someone with autism. This can either be verbally during a conversation or in writing by giving them a heartfelt letter. Don't hint at what you want and expect for them to pick up on it.
One of the most obvious signs is that she wants to spend time with you and she makes every effort to do so. Maybe suggesting places to go, asking for help with something or even just singling you out to talk to when you are in a group situation.
The special interests of autistic girls and women tend to be more varied and “socially acceptable” than those of their male or amab (assigned male at birth) counterparts. Autistic females are more likely to have special interests involving fine art, literature, pop culture, makeup, and so on.
Sensory hyperreactivity seems to be especially pronounced in autistic females, so much so that many claim sensory issues are the defining feature of their autism.
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
Autistic girls are sometimes better at controlling their behavior in public. They might have learned early on to smile or make eye contact. They might also be more interested in making friends than boys with autism are. All of this can make for a more subtle version of autism that a doctor might not recognize.
Differences with social communication (which increases with age) Choosing behaviors that seem to be shy, quiet, or unusually passive. Having symptoms of anxiety or another co-occurring mental health condition. Challenges with controlling emotion.
Some autistic people might like more 'obvious' forms of flirting like grand gestures, crafting things for someone or writing letters.
To support a girl on the autism spectrum, love, accept, and encourage her for exactly who she is. Understand that the social environment of school may feel confusing, exhausting or unpleasant, and be sure to provide her with a space that is welcoming, understanding, and sensory friendly.
Although some people on the autism spectrum enjoy fulfilling relationships, there are others for whom emotional attachment can be difficult and this may affect intimate relationships, family relationships and friendships.
Key points. Widespread stereotypes suggest that people with autism are incapable of feeling romantic love. In reality, people with autism can experience romantic love and often attach considerable value to their close relationships.
Some kids on the spectrum feel a constant need for affection because they are not sure when or if the attention will be available. Schedule 5 to 10 minutes every day when you can provide your youngster with undivided attention (i.e., no computer, T.V., cell phones, etc.).
Autistic individuals may have problems communicating sexual needs which can cause issues in intimate relationships. They may seek to satisfy these needs on their own, rather than communicate them with their partner. In turn, this can result in hurt feelings.
Key points. Autistic people tend to experience emotional regulation issues. They may find it difficult to appraise emotional situations, or may suppress their emotional responses. Good appraisal skills are linked to positive mental well-being and suppression is linked with depression.
These responses are often described as a general hypersensitivity, but they are more complex than that: Sometimes autistic people crave touch; sometimes they cringe from it.
Research has found that autistic people are equally interested in romantic relationships as neurotypical people. They just tend to have a slightly harder time knowing how to navigate dating and interpreting social cues, particularly at the start of the relationship.
Blues clues: Young autistic girls tend to have behaviors that resemble depression, such as crying excessively. Autistic children who have behavioral problems tend to have an enlarged right amygdala, a brain region that helps process emotions and detect threats.
Summary. While many people with autism may appear to lack empathy and sympathy, it is not the case for all people with autism. For those who struggle with displaying appropriate empathetic responses, the reasons may relate more to social communication issues than a lack of underlying emotional response.
Another study found that 80 percent of females remain undiagnosed at age 18, which has serious consequences for the mental health of young women. Many of them are misdiagnosed with conditions such as borderline personality disorder, depression, eating disorders, bipolar disorder and anxiety.