Talk About Past Pains That Make Vulnerability Hard
Telling him, for example, that your ex-husband cheated on you and that trust doesn't come easily to you will help your new boyfriend understand that there are areas he may need to be especially sensitive about with you.
The biggest secret about why men find vulnerability attractive, in the bedroom or otherwise, is this: We need women to inspire us to show our deeper feelings, so we can feel safer with them and they can feel safer with us. But it's hard for men to be emotionally vulnerable even though, deep down, they want to be.
Different frameworks have been used to define vulnerable women. Conventionally, such women have been identified based on income falling below the acceptable benchmark of welfare, along with other demographic characteristics such as ethnicity, education level, and locale - rural versus urban status [2, 8].
The different types of vulnerability
According to the different types of losses, the vulnerability can be defined as physical vulnerability, economic vulnerability, social vulnerability and environmental vulnerability.
Male vulnerability is the ability to be open and honest about our feelings and experiences, even when they are difficult. It is the willingness to show up and be seen, even when afraid. Courage does not mean that we are never afraid. On the contrary, courage means that we face our fears head-on.
Men experience difficulty being vulnerable due to societal pressures of masculinity. You may feel the need to “man-up” or uphold a callous, tough self-image. You might hold yourself back from displaying emotions other than anger or happiness. Feelings of sadness, grief, and loneliness might be pushed deep down for men.
Since childhood, many men are taught vulnerability equals weakness and therefore men are not supposed to be vulnerable. It can also be difficult to be vulnerable as there might be a fear of feeling embarrassed or being hurt by someone's response. Vulnerability is actually a strength.
"What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful." –Brené Brown. This quote is one that I would classify as epic. I am one that struggles with feeling vulnerable because I have a great fear of looking weak in the eyes of those around me.
Vulnerability fosters closeness, trust, and intimacy because it tells the person you're with that you trust them. This allows you to truly get to know each other: how you think, what you value, and what you aspire to.
Looking our partner in the eye, listening to what they have to say, and being willing to give time and attention to the moment are acts of vulnerability that are often harder to do than we imagine. Yet, engaging in each of these behaviors keeps us closer to one another and to our own feelings.
Examples of vulnerability
Telling others when they've done something to upset you. Sharing with someone something personal about yourself that you would normally hold back. Having the willingness to feel pride or shame. Reaching out to someone you haven't talked to in a while and would like to reconnect with.
Vulnerable: Someone who's introverted, yet willing to connect when trust is earned. Just because you're not talking all the time doesn't mean you won't talk when the time comes. Typically speaking, introverts have rich inner worlds that they'd love to share, and they actually excel when bonding with others.
Men often express feelings outwardly through body language such as physical gestures, facial changes, muscle tensing and gritting teeth, instead of expressing those emotions with words.
When your man starts to talk about what's on his mind, confess his true feelings for you, tell you he loves you, or even cry in front of you—that is him being his most vulnerable. It means he not only values you and your relationship, but is comfortable enough to be him, the real him, in all his forms.
As emotions such as fear and sadness are generally not as accepted, men might try to hide these from themselves and those around them. They feel that they should be able to cope on their own. Individuals might try to cope with 'negative' emotions in one or more of the following ways: Withdrawing from family and friends.
Fear of vulnerability can also stem from abusive relationships or criticism from family members; such hurt can impact a person's mental health and lead to low self-esteem. A positive circle of friends and family, plus the desire to try new things and step outside of your comfort zone, can help boost self-worth.
Being emotionally vulnerable involves the process of acknowledging your emotions, especially those that are uncomfortable or painful. It is less about acknowledging hedonically pleasant emotions, such as love and joy, and more about unpleasant emotions, such as anger, shame, anxiety, loneliness, and others.
The signs of vulnerability in a woman include the need for reassurance, indecisiveness, caring about others more, extremism, and avoiding confrontation. Vulnerable people do not believe in a gray area and think others do not like them. They hold themselves responsible for other people's problems.