A child custody battle can be exhausting and stressful for all parties involved. This stress can also cause parents to act rashly and unfairly. Poor behaviour between parents can impact a child's relationship with their parents significantly, leading to consequences like parental alienation.
Even though women tend to win most custody battles, getting there can be tough.
But the statistics go deeper than that: Not only does the mother get custody of the children more often, the parents agree in more than half the cases (51%) that the mother should have custody.
The most common arrangement is that the mother takes 66-84% custody of the child or children, while the father takes 14-34%.
Joint custody is the most common type of child custody arrangement. But there are different types of joint custody. And in some cases, sole custody may be the best solution. Here's what to consider when negotiating child custody.
Parenting stress is a normal part of the parenting experience. It arises when parenting demands exceed the expected and actual resources available to the parents that permit them to succeed in the parent role.
Keep copies of your communication and correspondence with the other parent. The evidence often offered in today's child custody trials includes copies of texts and e-mails of the parties. Other common evidence includes the parties' income information (often tax returns and paystubs), photos and sometimes calendars.
However, there is no set guidelines for reasonable access for father. Each family is unique and reasonable access for fathers depends on the individual circumstances. Some fathers see their children every day, while others might see them just once a month.
Ideal custody witnesses are witnesses who typically are neutral: teachers, coaches, medical providers; parents of the children's friends.
A judge can see firsthand the combative, abusive, and controlling nature of the narcissistic parent.
You can trigger narcissistic rage by putting the narcissist in a position of looking bad. Narcissists do not take criticism well. Gather witnesses who have seen your narcissistic ex behaving badly. This could include family, friends, co-works, teachers.
As the courts are obliged to provide the child with the care that is in their best interest, the narcissist may be prevented from gaining custody. Children need a stable and caring environment where their needs can be met in order to give them the best chance.
Narcissists will lie about matters that are not material and are inconsequential to the case just to anger their opponent. This is technically not perjury unless the lie is relevant to the outcome.
Some common deposition questions for a narcissistic parent may include questions about their behavior, parenting style, past actions, and interactions with the other parent and children.
Split Custody
Each parent has sole custody of one or more children, and the other parent has it for the remaining children. Split custody is the least common type of arrangement.
A 2-2-3 schedule can work well for a toddler if the parents live close to each other. The following schedules can also work for a toddler: Alternating every 2 days schedule where your toddler alternates spending 2 days with each parent.
Choosing Your Co-Parent
You can ask a close friend or family member, or find someone through online services like Modamily. The selection process needs to be taken seriously as this is your partner to raise a family with. Take into account job security, location, health, characteristic traits, religious views etc.