Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
They don't want you to know who you are, what you think, and feel. A narcissist must destroy or come in between you and your perception of self. They have to wiggle themselves in between you. In that space, they don't want you looking within anymore; they want you to focus solely on them.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
Retaliation is a way for narcissists to inflict tangible damage on the victim – whether it involves an assault on their privacy, their good name, their work, their future relationships or friendships, the narcissist seeks revenge to punish you and reestablish control over you.
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners. People with self-esteem issues tend to think of themselves as imperfect or unlovable.
A closet (or covert) narcissist is the type who does not want to be seen to be openly chasing the limelight, so they tend to choose victims who makes them look good by association. They'll usually go for successful people - those with high status who others admire.
Narcissistic Grooming Technique: Isolating you from family and friends. The narcissist will try to isolate you from your support system. He will do this by making negative comments about the people in your life in an attempt to turn you against them. If that fails he will make it difficult for you to see them.
Narcissistic rage ranges from direct confrontation with name-calling and hurtful slurs, to calculated, closed down reactions like giving their partner the silent treatment for hours at a time. "They give you the cold shoulder, or they walk out and they find another woman," Greenberg said.
When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right. They will say things you didn't utter and misinterpret all your intentions.
You will be bullied, intimidated and threatened. They won't let up or let you go until they wear you down so you are brainwashed into thinking you can never say "no". Narcissists have no assertive state with which to moderate themselves. Zero sense of self-regulation.
Narcissists are the masters of emotional manipulation. They will try to control your thoughts and desires. Making future promises and emotional blackmail are two forms of manipulation but gaslighting is most common. Manipulation causes confusion, low self-esteem, anxiety, shame, and guilt.
For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.
Dealing with any form of narcissist can be difficult, but when you see that the narcissist is enraged, do not continue engaging with them. Physically distance yourself from them as much as you can. Ignore them and avoid any interaction with them. Set your boundaries, remembering that they will try to manipulate you.
Clearly communicate your needs and set boundaries – in writing if possible. Take some quiet time by yourself to figure out what you will accept and won't accept from your narcissist. Become clear about the boundaries you need to set to shut them down.
Narcissistic abuse happens when someone with narcissistic personality disorder tries to manipulate you. An abuser with NPD may try to control you by isolating you from friends and family. Narcissistic abusers may also gaslight you, make you feel worthless, or bring others into the abuse.
Examples of narcissistic rage range from intense outbursts and sudden fits of anger, to passive-aggressive acts such as simmering resentment, icy silence, deliberate neglect, or cutting sarcasm.