How much money should you offer? A family in need will appreciate any amount of money, so offer as much as you can afford. If you weren't very close to the deceased, you may offer the amount equivalent to a flower arrangement. At the end of the day, it's the gesture that counts the most.
There is no hard and fast rule for how much money you should put into a sympathy card. It is important to consider how much you can afford and the need of the family. You don't want to put financial constraints on your family because of giving.
How Much Should You Give? The traditional gift is the amount you would have spent on flowers for the service, generally between $50 and $100.
For distant acquaintances or colleagues, $20 to $50 is appropriate. For closer friends or relatives, $50 to $100 is appropriate. For immediate family members, $100 to $200 is appropriate.
In most cases, a note or card to the family is appropriate and sufficient to express your sympathy to the family of a deceased work colleague. If you worked closely together, you might send a sympathy flower arrangement or a dish garden. Fruit, food, or gourmet baskets are also appropriate and would be appreciated.
It will depend on how well you know the person who is grieving too. Don't make a gift too personal if you don't know the bereaved very well, or they are a work colleague. In that case, a card, some flowers or a gift basket are enough. See below for the sympathy gift etiquette of sending flowers or gift baskets.
Some people send sympathy cards instead of attending the funeral. This is appropriate etiquette, especially if you have had little contact with the deceased or the mourners for years. Others may send a card and attend the funeral as well. This is appropriate if you have a close relationship with the mourners.
Sending your condolences means contacting someone who is recently bereaved and offering some words of comfort or sympathy for their loss. It is a way of acknowledging that they are grieving and showing that you care about them.
Friends & Family members may collectively contribute money. Usually, a gift of money at a funeral is between $70 and $120. The customary gift is what you would typically spend on flowers. Here are some ideas on offering money and other appropriate memorial gifts before, during, or after a funeral service.
Money is not an appropriate gift, although exceptions may be made when the family is left in extreme financial difficulty. In that case, friends may wish to pool contributions to make a gift of assistance.
Flowers, sympathy cards, custom keepsakes, and donations are all appropriate gifts to bring to a funeral. While a gift is certainly not required, it can be a thoughtful way to communicate your love for those grieving. Flower and plant arrangements can often be sent to the funeral home prior to the service.
It was once common for close friends and family members to give money to a family when someone died. This practice existed in part because handling all the details of death can be expensive, and loved ones often contributed to defray the cost.
“Thinking of you and your family as you celebrate the life of your beloved.” “May your happy memories give you peace and comfort during this challenging time.” “I am sharing in your sadness as you remember your loved one.” “Praying for you during this difficult time.
Refer to the deceased by name. Encourage the family to plan a wake, funeral and burial (even if cremated), if you are in an appropriate position to do so. Send flowers with a note (see suggestions for notes below) or offer a donation to a charity or an appropriate research organization. Acknowledge the deceased's life.
“Condolence” is an expression of sympathy as a whole, whereas “sympathy” is the feeling of sorrow you experience when learning of a death that impacts someone you know. While you send condolences or messages of sympathy, your sympathy message should highlight your feeling of sorrow for the person's loss.
While proper etiquette dictates that sympathy cards are ideally sent within two weeks after a death, it is never too late to send someone a sympathy card or note to express your heartfelt feelings of condolence for their loss. There can be many reasons for sending condolence cards late.
If you want to send condolences to a mourning family member or friend but did not know the deceased, address the card to that particular person. When signing the sympathy greeting card, be sure to always include your last name. No matter how close you are, there could be others who have your same first name.
“Please accept my condolences on the death of your ____.” “I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your _____.” “I wish to express my deepest condolences to you and your family.” “Losing someone close is a tragedy.
Expressing your sympathy. There is never anything wrong with acknowledging a loss and saying you're sorry. In fact, the two words “I'm sorry” are the beginning of the phrase, “I'm sorry for your loss.” But on their own they say more because they acknowledge the difficulty of managing grief.