How Much Should You Give? The traditional gift is the amount you would have spent on flowers for the service, generally between $50 and $100.
Generally, it would depend on factors like your closeness to the deceased or family, your own financial ability, and the family's perceived need. The most common minimum amount is $30. From there, you can increase the amount if you'd like, as long as the initial digits make up an odd number.
Consider Sending Memorial Money
You don't have to send a gift along with the card, but you certainly can. Many people send flowers, but it's also really easy to put money on the card. When you send the money, let the family know you want them to honor their loved one in whatever way they see fit.
Monetary gift
The 'white gold' is preferably in odd numbers such as $30 or $50 and is placed in a white envelope which will be given to the bereaved loved ones at the funeral reception. Avoid red envelope as it is a colour associated with happiness and is not appropriate for a funeral wake.
Chinese funeral guests can be expected to give the grieving family money, 奠儀 (diàn yí), at the funeral or one day prior. The traditional gift is an odd dollar amount, starting at $101, in a white envelope. It may be handed to a family member or put into a donation box.
Chinese families will typically give the guests a red envelope with either a coin or a dollar bill in it for good luck and a white envelope that has a piece of candy in it to take away the bitter taste of death. They also do not put pictures of the deceased loved one on the casket.
The best and most accepted amount would be $30 and it considered as the minimum amount to give as funeral donation. If the visitor has a lot of means, he can add more zeros to the odd number. Even as many as he can if he is really that generous! This amount is also called bai jin as it is given in white envelopes.
It's advisable to give cash donations in odd number amounts, such as $30, $50, $70, $90, or $100. In Chinese customs, even numbers are usually associated with an auspicious event or object. Funerals or wakes aren't auspicious events. Therefore odd-numbered cash donations are given.
Casket. A casket is often the most expensive item that factors into the average funeral cost.
Depending on the traditions and customs observed by the individual the most traditional items include sympathy flowers, baked goods and desserts, fruit, dried fruit, & nuts, and assorted chocolates.
“Thinking of you and your family as you celebrate the life of your beloved.” “May your happy memories give you peace and comfort during this challenging time.” “I am sharing in your sadness as you remember your loved one.” “Praying for you during this difficult time.
Money is not an appropriate gift, although exceptions may be made when the family is left in extreme financial difficulty. In that case, friends may wish to pool contributions to make a gift of assistance.
Shiva, meaning “seven” in Hebrew, is the week of mourning following the funeral. Traditionally shiva is observed for seven days, with a pause for Shabbat (the Sabbath, from sundown Friday until nightfall Saturday). Some mourners choose to observe shiva for a shorter number of days.
Guests at a Chinese funeral wear somber colors like black. Bright and colorful clothing, especially red, must be avoided as these colors are associated with happiness. White is acceptable and, if the deceased was 80 or above, white with pink or red is acceptable as the event is cause for celebration.
For Funeral Visitors
Representatives of the bereaved family will stand by the altar and bow to you as a token of gratitude for your attendance. You may politely decline for religious or other reasons and choose to observe a moment of silence and bow as a general sign of respect.
unless otherwise instructed by the family. Flowers, sympathy cards, custom keepsakes, and donations are all appropriate gifts to bring to a funeral. While a gift is certainly not required, it can be a thoughtful way to communicate your love for those grieving.
Funeral guests are required to light incense for the deceased and bow as a sign of respect to the family. There will also be a donation box since money is always offered as a sign of respect to the family of the deceased. This money will also help the family defray the costs of the funeral.
It is customary to show your respects by viewing the deceased if the body is present and the casket is open. You may wish to say a silent prayer for, or meditate about, the deceased at this time. In some cases the family may escort you to the casket. The length of your visit at the wake is a matter of discretion.
Bakers and families may have their own special funeral cake recipes that are traditionally served in their church, social circle, or family. Beyond those special traditional recipes, classic cakes that are easy and can serve a crowd are good options to serve at funerals.
Small sterling silver, gold, or jeweled pieces are also usually a fine choice if they are not distracting. Religious jewelry, such as a simple cross, would also be appropriate. But, it's best to avoid any jewelry that might swing, clank together, or cause a disturbance to others.
Offer Sympathy Flowers
White or yellow chrysanthemums are an ideal choice of sympathy flowers, as traditional Chinese customs state that white and yellow flowers serve symbolic needs for the funeral. Do take proper care not to include anything red in the flower wreath or arrangement.
Loved ones will take turns to sit with the body at the family home, temple or funeral parlour, while mourners may bring offerings of things like incense or food. This can last up to seven days. During this period, it's traditional for mourners to offer money as a donation to the soul of the dead person.