About 30% of first marriages end in divorce in Australia, with second marriages having a higher rate (around 60%). While overall divorce rates are dropping, a significant portion, over half, of marriages ending in divorce do so within the first nine years, with an average marriage length to divorce being around 12-13 years.
6. Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. 7. Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.
1. Lack of Honesty. Often when we think of honesty, notably honesty in marital relationships, we think of a very tangible “where were you last night” kind of honesty. While this is obviously critically important, there are many other kinds of dishonesty that can destroy marriages.
The four behaviors that predict over 90% of divorces, known as Dr. John Gottman's "Four Horsemen," are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling, which erode connection, respect, and safety, leading to relationship breakdown. These destructive communication patterns, if persistent, signal that a marriage is likely to end, with contempt being the most damaging.
In 2024, 47,216 divorces were granted in Australia, with a crude divorce rate of 2.1 per 1,000 people aged 16 and over. The median duration of marriage at divorce rose to 13.2 years, while the median age at divorce remained steady at 47.1 for men and 44.1 for women.
I've been helping couples in the context of marriage counseling for about a decade and a half. In that time, I've noticed something: the prime number years of relationships are often the hardest (i.e. 1, 3. 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29…)
Last year, Australia's divorce rate was 2.1, down from 2.3 in 2023. The number of divorces fell 3% from 2023 to 2024. Meanwhile, marriages lasted for a median of 13.2 years – up from 12.1 in 2020 and 13 last year.
The 777 rule for marriage is a relationship guideline to keep couples connected by scheduling specific, regular quality time: a date night every 7 days, a night away (getaway) every 7 weeks, and a romantic holiday every 7 months, often without kids, to foster intimacy, reduce stress, and prevent routine from overtaking the relationship. It's about consistent, intentional efforts to prioritize the partnership.
Gottman studied more than 2,000 married couples over two decades and found four attitudes that most predict the dissolution of a relationship, especially in combination. They are criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling — the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Contempt. Of all the predictive factors, contempt is the most prominent one. Based on extensive research, Dr Gottman names the 'Four Horsemen' or four communication habits that are the best predictors of divorce.
The 5-5-5 rule in marriage refers to two main communication techniques: one where couples spend 5 minutes each speaking and 5 minutes dialoguing (5-5-5), and another where a person asks if an issue will matter in 5 minutes, 5 days, and 5 years to gain perspective. Both methods aim to de-escalate conflict, encourage active listening, and focus on long-term understanding rather than immediate reactions, fostering healthier communication and connection.
The Three A's – Adultery, Abuse, and Addiction
Therapists would love for every marriage to be able to be saved, but that just simply isn't realistic. Every marriage therapist knows when a couple comes into their office and are dealing with one of what we call, The Three A's …
The biggest mistake during a divorce often involves letting emotions drive decisions, leading to poor financial choices, unnecessary conflict, and detrimental parenting arrangements, with other major errors including hiding assets, not seeking early legal advice, and failing to prioritize the children's needs. Rushing the process or trying to "win" by being nasty instead of focusing on fair, transparent outcomes also causes significant long-term damage, costing time, money, and emotional well-being for everyone involved, especially children.
Reunion Rates: Between 10-15% of separated couples reconcile, and approximately 6% of divorced couples remarry each other.
For some, staying single is a temporary pause while they figure themselves out. For others, it's a long-term choice rooted in the value of freedom. Either way, it's a reflection of how relationships today demand more than they used to—and not everyone feels ready to rise to that challenge.
For these long-term marriages (lasting more than ten years) support may last for as long as the one spouse needs the support and the other spouse can pay. This could be for many years.
The 2-2-2 rule for marriage is a guideline to keep a relationship strong and connected: have a date night every two weeks, a weekend getaway every two months, and a week-long vacation every two years. This system encourages regular, intentional quality time, breaks from routine, and deeper connection by ensuring couples prioritize each other amidst daily life, work, and family, preventing stagnation and fostering fun.
The four major signs of divorce, known as "The Four Horsemen", identified by relationship researchers like John Gottman, are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling, which predict relationship failure through destructive communication patterns like attacking character, showing disgust, making excuses, and shutting down during conflict. These behaviors create a cycle of negativity that erodes fondness and admiration, leading to emotional distance and potential separation, with contempt being the most damaging.
They can do that by understanding the “Seven C's” of marriage which include the Command for marriage, a Commitment to marriage, Communication, Couple time, agreeing on issues with their Currency, putting Christ at the center of the marriage, and supporting each other's endeavors in the Community.
The goals of the Gottman Method include increasing closeness and friendship behaviors, addressing conflict productively, and building a life of shared meaning together. The Gottman Method involves customizing principles from the research to each couple's particular patterns and challenges.
Follow the four golden rules – don't lie, keep your promises, argue productively and always play nice – and your relationship will never go anywhere but forward.
If you've ever heard that year seven is the make-it-or-break-it year for marriages, you may start to get nervous as that anniversary approaches. The seven-year itch, as it's called, is a term that describes feeling restless or dissatisfied in a relationship — typically at that seven-year mark.
The median age at divorce has been increasing for both men and women, now reaching its highest point at 47.1 years for men and 44.1 years for women. The number of divorces involving children under 18 years remained stable over the last decade at 1 in 2.
There's no single answer, as suffering in divorce is highly individual, but research shows women often face greater financial hardship and poverty risk, while men tend to struggle more with emotional adjustment, depression, and loneliness, though both experience significant challenges, especially regarding children, finances, and loss of intimacy. Children also suffer greatly from parental conflict, disrupted routines, and loyalty conflicts, with the outcome depending heavily on co-parenting quality.
Grey divorce or late-life divorce is the demographic trend of an increasing divorce rate for older ("grey-haired") couples in long-lasting marriages, a term typically used for people over 50. Those who divorce may be called silver splitters. Divorcing late in life can cause financial difficulties.