But it may take longer before a person actually considers telling their partner they love them. According to a large 2022 study, men tend to say “I love you” more quickly than women. It takes men an average of 108 days (about 4 months) to confess love and women an average of around 123 days (about 4 months).
Two months may be too soon to say “I love you” for some people, while the same period of time may be perfect for other couples. You may also want to consider checking on your own feelings. Lust and infatuation can sometimes mimic aspects of romantic love, and could lead you to say “I love you” prematurely.
According to research and surveys, most people agree that anywhere between 3 and 5 months after you start dating is the right time to say love you to your partner for the first time.
"[One month is] not too soon if you spend every single day together for an entire month," Golden says. "That's long enough to fall in love and to verbally express it." On the flipside, Anita Chlipala, a licensed marriage and family therapist, isn't fully convinced four weeks can give you all the answers.
During the first two or three months of being together, almost 25% of people will have said “I love you”. Just 11% admitted to taking longer than half a year.
Dating gurus on TikTok recommend a new rule to weed out incompatible partners. They call it the three-month rule, where people can evaluate potential partners for 90 days. They recommend not exclusively dating someone — or even kissing them — for these first months.
“There is no absolute rule,” says Dr. Lauren Kerwin, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles. “[Falling in love] can happen instantaneously or take weeks, months, or years! It happens differently for everybody and takes different forms.”
The root theory of the 3-month dating rule is unknown and obscure, but the universal acceptance of it is real. Three months is plenty of time to know if you see long-term potential in the relationship. Three months is short enough that each person can escape without too much heartbreak.
While early relationship feels (and hormones) can be intoxicating, relationship experts warn that it might be a red flag if you or your partner is too quick to say, “I love you.”
If you know they're seeing other people and you'd like them to stop, knowing when to ask to be exclusive can be more complicated. While there are no firm rules, experts suggest waiting at least three months after you start dating someone.
Men usually say it first, and it's for the reason you think
A 2011 study published in the Journal of Sociology Psychology found that, while both male and female college students believe women tend to say “I love you” first, it's actually men who fall in love faster and say the L-word earlier.
If they haven't told you that they love you, this may be a sign that they're emotionally unavailable or detached from their feelings. For example, there are people who are unable to really open up and share their true feelings with a partner because they don't want to appear weak or vulnerable.
In fact, researchers found that men thought about confessing love six weeks earlier, on average, than women. The general consensus among studies on love is that men fall in love faster than women.
Falling in love easily, quickly, and often is called "emophilia." This tendency can lead people to miss critical red flags, so they may be prone to entering unhealthy relationships. Emophilia may make people's self-concepts vulnerable to rapid change.
Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.
Instead, I'm talking about the trend known as the three-month itch, which occurs when a couple have been dating for about three months and suddenly one decides that they either want to exit the relationship, or morph things from casual to commitment.
Physical, emotional, or mental abuse
Physical, emotional, and mental abuse are undeniable red flags in any relationship. Physical abuse is easier to pick up. But emotional and mental abuse can be just as damaging in the long run. And just like physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse can cause PTSD.
Around 1-3 months is considered “normal” for most couples.
If you've been dating someone for a week or two and you're wondering when most couples have the exclusivity talk, don't worry. Many long-term couples made it official after a few months of casual dating.
Passionate love feels like instant attraction with a bit of nervousness. It's the "feeling of butterflies in your stomach,"Lewandowski says. "It's an intense feeling of joy, that can also feel a bit unsure because it feels so strong."
Love can give us a physical reaction. A quickened heart rate, butterflies in our stomachs, dilated pupils, sweaty palms, a hard time finding words, the instinctive urge to physically touch are just a few ways in which love can physically affect us.