Lengthening kisses to six seconds could be a key to a better relationship.
In John Gottman's relationship research, he was able to find that six seconds is the length of a kiss that can actually create a connection with your partner. In fact, he recommends you have at least one six-second kiss per day. John calls the six-second kiss “a kiss with potential.”
To be safe, I wouldn't let a first kiss linger too long. 10–15 seconds or less is the sweet spot. If your partner enjoys it, they'll be yearning for more and there should be plenty of other opportunities for necking.
Pull away in less than one second. A peck is the quickest of all kisses, so don't let it linger. Make the kiss last long enough that your lips touch him, but pull away right after that.
Slow and steady does it
Try to relax and move slowly to avoid those awkward face-crashes. Going slowly also centers you in your body and allows you to check in with how you feel. That's all key to being a good kisser. According to Chavez, it's important not to think of kissing as just a means to an end.
The 90/10 rule in kissing is that you lean in 90% of the way…and pause. Let her then lean in 10% of the way and initiate the kiss. So, if your lips are 10 inches apart, you move in 9 inches…and wait. When someone invades your personal space, you will either move away, or move closer.
Not every first kiss, though, is a great kiss. They can be awkward, especially if the moment is not right or even forced. Even still, we are physically wired to tell the difference between a bad kiss from a good kisser and a "this does nothing for me" lipsmack.
You experience an adrenaline rush: When you kiss someone for the first time, your body will release a burst of adrenaline (the fight-or-flight chemical) which increases your heart rate, boosts your energy levels and gets the blood flowing.
When you kiss someone, your body releases happy hormones. A rush of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin hits your system the moment your lips lock. With this positive cocktail and a heart-fluttering kiss, you'll feel like you're on cloud nine! Lips are one of your body's most sensually sensitive areas.
After the kiss, pull your head back slowly to give each of you some space. If you wrapped a hand around each other, you can lightly ease off, or hold each other close for a more intimate moment. Look your partner in the eyes and smile.
If he's in a silly or happy mood, he's totally spellbound.
A long kiss releases dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, feel-good chemicals that will make him smile. A single smile produces endorphins, another hormone that lifts his mood. Endorphins also create a “feedback loop” that will make him smile over and over.
It takes chemistry
That fluttery feeling you get when you're kissing a new partner – the racing heart and spiking blood pressure – comes from dopamine. It revs your engine, but you can thank the love hormone, oxytocin, for bringing you back for more years after the novelty has worn away, Kirshenbaum said.
Interestingly, this is largely agreed upon across generations. No need to wait for the official first date to get a little face time, however. Americans agree kids are ready for their first kiss at age 15 (15.1 on average), while on average, they had theirs at age 14.5.
A little privacy makes your first kiss feel more special.
Even if you really feel the urge to kiss someone, it could make them feel a little uncomfortable if you're out in public. Step over to somewhere a little more private so you have a chance to enjoy the moment without anyone disturbing you.
“The three second rule was an old piece of advice about the time it takes to make a good first impression. How it's shifted to meaning that guys can forcibly kiss and touch a woman for three seconds to see if she says no, is a horrible reflection of the understanding people have about consent.
A kiss is still a kiss
The results showed that more than two thirds of the kissing individuals had a bias for turning their heads to the right. When initiating a kissing “move” (men were 15 times more likely to initiate the kiss) right-handed people leaned right and left-handed people leaned left.
Start slow. When it's the first time you're kissing someone, it's always best to take your time. Your bodies don't know each other yet, obviously, and exploring can be a lot of fun. Going slow also means you give the other person time to react if they don't like something – and if they do!
It's never too late to have your first kiss, to love and be loved, or to get in “the game.” I think you already know that, or at least suspect it, but here's me saying: You're right. It always seems impossible until it happens. For now, take that pressure off yourself, and enjoy being 20.
You might be under the impression that everyone has their first kiss when they're teenagers, but in reality, many people don't experience their first kiss until they are in their 20s or even older. Being a "lip virgin" in your 20s isn't as rare as people think.
While some guys may feel emotionally attached after kissing, others may not. It depends on a variety of factors, including the individual's personality, past experiences, and current relationship status. Some guys may feel emotionally attached after kissing because it creates a sense of intimacy and connection.