Military marriages suffer from the same issues as civilian marriage, with fights over quality time, child rearing, money, or sex. Deployment may deepen these already existing issues, ultimately causing a divorce, but a strong marriage will withstand arguments and deployments alike.
The relentless pressure of deployment separation can deteriorate even the strongest marriage. Combat deployment places a whole family at risk for losing a loved one. If the loved one comes home, however, the second risk is losing love itself. Combat is tough on marriages and always has been.
The answer is … yes. Although it may be extremely difficult, you can have a satisfying sex life and an intimate relationship with your spouse in the midst of a long, painful deployment.
They found that deployments are definitely associated with lower marital satisfaction but the biggest difference occurs with the first deployment [1]. As a couple experiences more deployments, they report better satisfaction than before.
Many relationships are able to flourish in spite of military deployments. However, deployments often bring about a number of risk factors for relationships. Communication challenges and the stress of military life may increase concerns about infidelity and the actual risk of infidelity occurring.
If you're willing to put in the time, commitment, and loyalty, it's possible to survive deployment as a couple. By preparing ahead of time with a game plan, you'll come out even stronger on the other side of the deployment — no matter how long it is!
The Five Stages
These stages are comprised as follows: pre-deployment, deployment, sustainment, re-deployment and post-deployment. Each stage is characterized both by a time frame and specific emotional challenges, which must be dealt with and mastered by each of the Family members.
Military Spouses take on different roles like teacher, financial planner, culinary specialist, and much more. Many sacrifice their own career in order to keep their family unit together. They fill critical job roles in the government, hospitals, and in their local communities.
One of those questions may be, “Can't you go with them on deployment?” For most military spouses, the answer is a resounding “No!” For others, it may be possible. It all comes down to the destination, the environment, and your own travel experiences.
The worst part of deployments is all the unknowns
Communication can be stressful because we never know when our service member will contact us, or how long it will be until we hear from them again.
Military life brings additional challenges to couples, including: Frequent separations. Deployments and temporary duty assignments mean that military members spend more time away from home than the average civilian. Missing important events like anniversaries and birthdays can be hard for both members of the couple.
These stages are comprised as follows: pre-deployment, deployment, sustainment, re- deployment and post-deployment.
If time, planning, and capability exist the couple can create a private chat room and have an electronic conversation. If the spouse at home does not have a personal computer or Internet service, he or she can check at a nearby military installation or another family readiness agency which may offer e-mail access.
Traumatic deployment experiences, such as threat to life, the loss of others, and seeing the wounded and the dying, can leave lasting emotional scars. PTSD in war veterans is a common condition that can develop after you have gone through such experiences.
Many military wives and girlfriends say that in the days before their men leave for deployment, the amount of arguing increases with each passing moment. Experts say, it's not you, it's not him. Instead, the bickering is turned on automatically inside many of us as a way of letting go.
The average military deployment is typically between six and 12 months long. However, deployment lengths vary greatly from branch to branch, are situational and depend on several factors specific to each individual service member.
Do military relationships move fast? They can at times, but they don't have to. Sometimes couples get engaged and then married quickly because of an upcoming deployment or duty station move.