ADHD can be a contributing factor in a wide range of marital problems. If your partner has ADD, you may feel ignored and lonely. Your partner can focus on things that interest them, but not on you. They never seem to follow through on what they agree to do.
Partners diagnosed with ADHD share many of the same frustrations as their non-ADHD counterparts. They feel misunderstood and unloved. They get angry when their partners criticize them a lot. They worry when their relationship breaks down because of their disorganization and distractibility.
Adult ADHD can tear a marriage apart. But with love, understanding, and the right treatment, most marriages affected by adult ADHD can become the loving bonds they started out as, and are meant to be.
Symptoms of ADHD that can cause relationship problems
If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don't remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one. Forgetfulness.
Relationships can be challenging in the best of circumstances – add ADHD to the relationship and it can become downright difficult. Misunderstandings can lead to frustration and, if unresolved, resentment. ADHD symptoms create significantly more stress for the couple.
Can someone with ADHD fall in love? While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.
Divorce and ADHD. Estimates vary, but some studies suggest that the divorce rate among couples touched by ADHD is as much as twice that of the general population.
An ADHD sufferer may be unable to pay attention to anything that isn't new, which pulls attention away from the relationship as it matures. Because he's not aware that he's doing anything wrong, the ADHD partner often doesn't respond or take the necessary steps to focus on the relationship.
Falling in Love with ADHD
It's true: Attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) has strained more than a few romantic relationships. Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet.
The impact of adult ADHD on marriages can be terrible for couples with one or more partners with the condition. Research suggests that the marital “maladjustment” rate may be close to 60%. Statistics on the divorce rate for those with ADHD vary, seemingly depending upon the age of the respondents in the study.
This dynamic is worse if the partner with ADHD is undiagnosed and not in treatment. Still, treatment may not even be enough to curb anger and resentment. The longer that problems are left to continue in a relationship, the higher the likelihood of a breakup.
But girls with ADHD usually turn their pain and anger inward. This puts girls at an increased risk for depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. Girls with undiagnosed ADHD are also more likely to have problems in school, social settings, and personal relationships than other girls.
Effective treatment involves a multimodal approach that often includes medication, therapy and counseling, stress management techniques, workplace and homelife accommodations. Some women and girls incorporate various lifestyle strategies to help manage their ADHD.
“Opposites Attract”: People with ADHD are attracted to “organized” and joyless workers bees who can keep the trains running for the both of them and who in turn are drawn to their free-spirited ADHD partner's spontaneity and sense of fun.
Impulsive behavior
Their impulsive tendencies can often lead to reckless, even destructive actions. Takeaway: In many cases, someone with adult ADHD won't be able to explain their behavior. This can take a toll on romantic relationships.
But in the world of ADHD, a body double is someone who sits with a person with ADHD as he tackles tasks that might be difficult to complete alone. Many people with ADHD find it easier to stay focused on housework, homework, bill paying, and other tasks when someone else is around to keep them company.
Adults with ADHD are good with people, creative, flexible, and calm in a crisis, all of which can be beneficial in any relationship. Adults with ADHD can be very engaged as they can hyperfocus on areas of interest, Roberts explains. “This can make the start of a relationship a whirlwind.