When wearing your hair to a funeral, aim for a clean, neat, and conservative style that doesn't draw attention to you, focusing on respect for the deceased and family; think polished, understated looks like a sleek low bun, simple ponytail, neat waves, or classic styles, avoiding anything overly trendy, flashy, or distracting, like bright accessories or elaborate designs.
Braided bun and seconding the hat of some sort. Honestly, though, so long as you're not like actively bleeding most people at a funeral won't notice- they do have other things to be thinking about, after all. I'm sorry for your loss.
Darker dresses, suits, pants, jackets and sweaters are appropriate. Flip-flops, tank tops, shorts, sundresses, casual tennis shoes and cleavage are not appropriate. Even though the service may be a celebration of life, many of those attending will be mourning. Your goal is to blend in, not be conspicuous.
However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds. In terms of accessories, a white shirt is the most common item of clothing to wear under a suit, while jewelry should be kept to a minimum and not too flashy.
In Australia, it's customary to wear subdued, respectful clothing. Dark colours are often preferred, though it's essential to consider the wishes of the deceased's family.
For men, a suit with a dress shirt and tie is the most common outfit. A white shirt or long-sleeved shirt paired with a dark jacket is both respectful and timeless. Women typically wear a modest dress, skirt, or dark pants paired with subdued clothing.
However, one thing that is never okay to do is to bring drugs or drinks to a funeral or to show up intoxicated. This is the number one sign of complete disrespect and rudeness. Imagine if it was your funeral. You wouldn't want someone opening a beer or having a hidden flask of drinks.
Many styles of women's shoes feature a peep-toe or open toed design. These shoes are not usually considered appropriate for a funeral service, even during the summer months. Opt for a conservative, closed-toed pair of heels or flats. The same rule applies for both men's and women's sandals.
Don't show a lot of skin and err on the side of conservative. If you wear a sleeveless dress, bring a cover-up with a blazer, shrug or a sweater. Men should plan to wear a suit and a tie. A funeral is typically formal or dressy casual unless, again, the family requests otherwise.
Typical traditional funeral outfits:
If you're attending a more traditional, subdued funeral, you may want to reserve your smiles and laughter for reflective moments or even until after the service. In a less formal celebration of life ceremony, laughter may be encouraged as a way to process grief.
A business suit or a simple dress that covers the shoulders and knees should suffice. If you want to wear something different, many women will wear dress pants with a nice sweater or blazer. Try to stick to more subtle colors like black, gray, dark blue, or purple and avoid overly floral patterns or vibrant colours.
Don't wear shiny or casual dresses that might catch attention; you may choose dark-colored attire. Avoid bringing very expensive gifts. Don't just glue yourself to your cell phone and restrict its use as much as possible. And, remember, never be late for a funeral.
Funerals are rituals related to "human death," so it's best to avoid colors that are too festive. Beige shades are better than dark reds and pinks among lipsticks. If you choose the color of cosmetics with the impression of "office make-up" instead of "make-up that appears in a gorgeous place", there are few mistakes.
The traditional role of black shoes
For men, polished black Oxfords or Derbies are the most common. For women, closed-toe black flats or modest heels are seen as appropriate. Black remains the safest choice for those unsure of what colours to wear to a funeral.
General Expectations for Funeral Attire
For women, conservative dresses, skirts at or below the knee, or dress pants combined with a blouse, are considered appropriate. It's also crucial to consider the weather and choose attire that is not only respectful but also practical for the climate.
Smart shoes – flats or sensible heels are the most popular choice. Open-toed shoes or sandals may be worn in some instances (service location/culture/country dependent).
Funeral directors often won't tell you about more affordable options, like renting urns/caskets or buying them online, the non-necessity of embalming, or that many services are optional, often focusing instead on upselling expensive packages; you can request itemized price lists, use alternative containers for cremation, and veterans get free burial, so it pays to ask questions and shop around. They also might not mention that "sealed" caskets don't stop decomposition or that funeral insurance can be risky, while also using suggestive language to encourage spending.
The 3 C's of grief are Control, Connection, and Continuity - three fundamental psychological needs that become disrupted after loss and require intentional attention during the grieving process.
While you could be used to saying “goodbye” to people upon your departure, avoid doing so at the funeral service as this is believed to be an invitation for the spirit of the deceased to visit you at home.
While you don't have to wear black to a funeral, you should stick to neutral, conservative colours in order to be respectful. Colours like grey and navy blue strike a balance between being versatile enough to suit cultural and personal preferences, while also reflecting the solemnity of the occasion.
Here are a few ideas for how to incorporate prints into your funeral garb. Keep the contrast level low like this dress. The contrast level can be a bit higher if the design is very elegant and tailored and, in this, case, the floral design feels appropriate to a funeral.
How to Behave Respectfully During a Funeral Service