Learning to trust again after betrayal is a slow process and extremely challenging. That said, there is reason to be hopeful under certain conditions. However, both partners must first accept that they each have work to do to recover from the pain.
Trust After Cheating: Build It Back Up
As Terry Gaspard puts it: trust is more about “what your partner does than what they say.” Restoring trust involves consistent communication, emotional intimacy, and honesty. These are the keys to rebuilding a safe base.
Your partner has to make the choice not to cheat, and you can't control other people's decisions. However, you can choose whether or not to trust your partner again. Rebuilding trust is possible. It does take a lot of work, and both partners have to be committed to healing the relationship.
Forgiveness is the antidote and a way for you to move on. However, it's a personal choice whether to do so. Can you forgive a cheater? In short, yes, but learning how to forgive someone for cheating means understanding what forgiveness actually means — only then can you achieve it.
The other four factors, the study determined, are sexual desire, anger (like cheating as a way to lash out at a partner), not feeling very committed to a relationship, and esteem (using sex with other partners as a way to boost your self-worth).
How Many Couples Stay Together After an Affair? In one study, researchers found that with instances of secret infidelity, only about 20% of couples were still married after 5 years. However, for couples who revealed infidelity, that percentage jumped to 57%.
Infidelity is a betrayal but it isn't necessarily the end of love; cheating occurs even in happy relationships. The partner being betrayed, however, may feel confusion, anger, doubt, pain, and heartbreak.
A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.
By working through the 3 stages of affair recovery—atonement, attunement, and attachment, couples can find healing from infidelity. If you're in a marriage where there's been infidelity, marriage counseling is going to be an important part of your healing process.
If your partner continues to see the person with whom they cheated, it can be really hard to heal and move forward together. This can be a sign that they don't consider your feelings and the impact the affair had on you. If that is the case, it's a good reason to walk away and know your worth.
The person who was cheated (sexually or emotionally) on may meet the criteria for PTSD and experience trauma-related symptoms such as rage, humiliation, intrusive images and flashbacks, preoccupation, emotional numbing, heightened anxiety to triggers, erratic behavior and sudden mood swings, and difficulty with sleep ...
Although many people believe in the adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” it is not necessarily true. Not every person who cheats once will cheat again. However, serial cheaters are people who seek out sexual partners on a continual, chronic pattern of infidelity.
If they are willing to learn from their mistakes to avoid repeating them, this can be a positive sign that the relationship may be able to be preserved. If, however, the cheater shows little to no desire to repair the relationship, it might not be wise or healthy to give them a second chance.
Infidelity can have lasting impacts on partners and children the couple may have. Grief, brain changes, behaviors down the road, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, chronic stress, and depression can result. Some families have been able to move past infidelity with time and therapy.
According to an article in The Signal, both physical and emotional cheating, or infidelity, are often at the root of divorce cases. The American Psychological Association (APA) reports that anywhere from 20% to 40% of divorces are linked to infidelity, and men tend to cheat more often than women do.
It's absolutely possible to heal from infidelity. Although the pain and grief can be intense, it's also possible to work on the relationship so that you and your partner are able to move on.
Cheating husbands may be defensive over the smallest things. They may seem unusually sensitive or touchy about things that seem harmless to you. If you ask an innocent question about what they had for lunch, they may snap at you and accuse you of being controlling or demanding.
The most important thing to remember is what cheating says about a person. They're insecure, impulsive, selfish, and immature. Sometimes, it's a chronic problem that likely won't ever be fixed, just be sure not to ignore the warning signs.
It means if a person cheats on their spouse, they will get punished by some universe effects. This consequence may relate to someone else cheating on them, or they may experience a bad situation. It may take time, but cheaters' karma indicates that a cheater will eventually get the repercussions of their actions.