Targeting specific kids for special attention, gifts or activities. Slowly isolating a kid from family members and friends – physically and emotionally. Undermining relationships with parents and friends to show that “no one understands you like I do.” Gradually pushing or crossing physical boundaries.
One tool common to those who sexually abuse kids is grooming: manipulative behaviors that the abuser uses to gain access to a potential victim, coerce them to agree to the abuse, and reduce the risk of being caught.
The expert testified that grooming includes such behaviors as showing a child extra attention, complimenting them, giving gifts, making promises and increasing contact —behaviors that may seem innocent to the lay person.
Personal hygiene which is also referred to as personal care includes all of the following: Bathing and Showering ➢ Hair care ➢ Nail care ➢ Foot care ➢ Genital care ➢ Dental care Personal hygiene is keeping the body clean, and helps prevent the spread of germs.
Malignant narcissists begin their relationships with excessive amounts of contact, praise, flattery, and attention – this is known as love bombing. They use love bombing to groom their victims in order to get them invested in a fabricated future together – one that they never plan to deliver on.
Grooming is a gradual process where a (usually older) abuser tries to gain the trust of a vulnerable (usually younger) individual. Typically at the start, an abuser's behavior seems benign enough. For instance: They might offer words of affirmation or give a token of appreciation.
Overt attention, verbal seduction (flattery / ego stroking), recruitment, physical isolation, charm, gift-giving, normalizing, gaslighting, secrecy, and threats are all hallmarks of grooming. Abusers who groom their victims often claim to have a special connection with the abused.
Grooming Is A Form Of Gaslighting
You're suffering the consequences of someone else abusing you and that feels terrible, which is why it's so hard to admit the abuse is going on in the first place for most of us because the consequences are very dire. It's like facing the thing you don't want to ever face.
Grooming, which could include “sexting”, is behaviour that might be viewed as just flirting between colleagues, but may actually mask predatory sexual activity that constitutes a serious risk to employers and young employees.
Perpetrators can be good at hiding the violence, publicly presenting as kind, loving, charming and likeable, but behave in cruel, violent, undermining and manipulative ways in private. Some of the common tactics used by perpetrators to coerce and control victims are shown in the following table.
Children who have been victimised and experienced grooming are likely to suffer from serious long-term mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress, and suicidal thoughts.
In essence, predatory male behavior is based on extracting sexual, emotional, and financial resources from women without care or concern for the woman's safety and well-being. Predatory male behavior extracts sexual, emotional, and financial resources from women.
The traits and behaviors that stood out for females included impulsivity, lack of behavioral controls, sexual promiscuity, criminal diversity, deceitfulness, and a lack of realistic goals.
Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.
Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.
Grooming is a form of manipulation that is often extremely difficult to spot when a person doesn't know what to look for. Grooming is meant to feel good in the beginning, ensuring the person being groomed has no idea they are being primed for abuse.
Targeting the victim – The first stage of grooming
Groomers are calculated and often repeat offenders – they don't want to get caught. Thus, before selecting their victims, abusers often scope out and observe possible 'candidates' and select them based on ease of access to them or their perceived vulnerability.
Examples of grooming behaviour may include: giving gifts or special attention to a child or young person, or their parent or carer, making the child or young person feel special or indebted to an adult. making close physical contact sexual, such as inappropriate tickling and wrestling or play fighting.