Listen First, Then Talk You'll want to be transparent and sincere in your communication when talking with your dying parent, but that doesn't mean that you should be barging in to start these conversations. While you can let the dying person take the lead, oftentimes medical professionals will bring it up.
Create memories and stories
If your mum or dad feels up to it, you could sit down and talk about their favourite memories and look back over their life. You could also ask them to tell you about their thoughts and dreams for you and your future.
Placing your hand gently on the person's hand, shoulder or head can be a tender way of saying, “I am here. You are not alone.” Continue to talk to the person even when she or he is no longer able to respond to you. The dying person will sense your presence and hear your voice.
Saying it freely and often can benefit both them and you. When speaking with someone who is dying, it's important to follow their lead and let them be in control of the conversation. They may wish to speak about big events in their life or reminiscence about memories.
The important findings, along with observations of long-time palliative care doctors and nurses, show: Brain activity supports that a dying patient most likely can hear. Even if awareness of sound cannot be communicated due to loss of motor responses, the value of verbal interactions is measurable and positive.
Your loved one may sleep more and might be more difficult to awaken. Hearing and vision may decrease. There may be a gradual decrease in the need for food and drink. Your loved one will say he or she doesn't have an appetite or isn't hungry.
Avoid jargon and unclear language – for example say "dying" instead of "passing away". Find out how they express discomfort or pain. Allow enough time for conversations – be patient and ready to repeat yourself if needed. Check they understand by asking them to repeat what you said, using their own words if possible.
They Know They're Dying
Dying is a natural process that the body has to work at. Just as a woman in labor knows a baby is coming, a dying person may instinctively know death is near. Even if your loved one doesn't discuss their death, they most likely know it is coming.
People who are dying say that they would rather see people before their last days, than only have people come when they are suffering or cannot respond. Visit as often as possible for you before your loved one is in their last days.
Generally speaking, people who are dying need care in four areas: physical comfort, mental and emotional needs, spiritual needs, and practical tasks. Of course, the family of the dying person needs support as well, with practical tasks and emotional distress.
Terminal agitation is typically seen during the hours or days before death and can be distressing and overwhelming for caregivers.
End-of-life (EOL) communication in palliative care is essential to enable dying patients to experience a good death. Honest conversations between physicians and patients regarding treatment expectations, dying wishes and issues they face can have tremendous benefits for patients and their caregivers.
The first organ system to “close down” is the digestive system. Digestion is a lot of work! In the last few weeks, there is really no need to process food to build new cells. That energy needs to go elsewhere.
The active stage of dying generally only lasts for about 3 days. The active stage is preceded by an approximately 3-week period of the pre-active dying stage. Though the active stage can be different for everyone, common symptoms include unresponsiveness and a significant drop in blood pressure.
As a person approaches death, their vital signs may change in the following ways: blood pressure drops. breathing changes. heartbeat becomes irregular.
Those who spend a lot of time with the dying all tend to say the same thing — you don't need to say anything. "Don't say a lot. Let them talk," Maria Pate from Hospice Volunteers says. "Or let the silence be there."
Research suggests that even as your body transitions into unconsciousness, it's possible that you'll still be able to feel comforting touches from your loved ones and hear them speaking. Touch and hearing are the last senses to go when we die.
Writing in Palliative Care Perspectives, his guide to palliative care for physicians, he said: “First hunger and then thirst are lost. Speech is lost next, followed by vision. "The last senses to go are usually hearing and touch.”