Instead, you just need to kick off your retraction with something like, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that,” or “I'm sorry, that came out wrong.” Statements like that take ownership of your mistake right out of the way. And, remember to take note of those two key words: I'm sorry.
Experts said it's best to deliver an apology face-to-face if possible. Speaking over the phone is the next best option. Explain how it won't happen again. Sharing what the situation taught you will reassure this person that you've learned from your mistake.
Saying, "When I said [the hurtful thing], I wasn't thinking. I realize I hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry," acknowledges that you know what it was you said that hurt the other person, and you take responsibility for it. Don't make assumptions and don't try to shift the blame.
“ You're *#@! % stupid. ” “ I wish you were never born. ” “ No one is ever going to love you, you're so *#@! % fat and ugly. ” “ You never get anything right. ” “ You're worthless. ” These are mean and degrading things to say to someone. They hurt.
Anger is usually the reason why people say hurtful things. Before you dissect those verbal attacks, or analyze the 'whys' and 'wherefores' of the negative behavior, it is best to understand where those words are coming from. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they are the manifestations of an intense emotion – anger.
You can always vent to a trusted friend, but sometimes it feels better to pretend you're talking directly to the person you're angry at. Pick an empty chair, imagine they're sitting in it, and yell, scream, or tell them exactly why you're so mad – whatever feels best to you.
Often, people will utter hurtful words to others with no motive. Or, their motive could be simply to relieve their own pain. Remaining silent or strong-willed can be hard to do when one is taken by surprise by hurtful words.
It's one of those feelings you can't seem to shake, a heavy and intrusive negative emotion that can last for minutes, days, years or even a lifetime. Imaging studies reveal that feelings of regret show increased activity in an area of the brain called the medial orbitofrontal cortex.
Regret is viewed by many experts to be a mental phenomenon conditioned by evolution. That is, it is an evolutionary advantage for a species to learn from pervious mistakes and to remember those mistakes so as to avoid future related mistakes.
We hurt them because we feel shame and unworthiness. Remember, shame is the fear of disconnection and rejection. So, in an attempt to reconnect, we shout, belittle or threaten our loved ones. Reconnection is supposed to make us feel 'safe', but it doesn't.
How to forgive someone who hurt you emotionally and isn t sorry?
Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you, recognize how those emotions affect your behavior, and work to release them. Choose to forgive the person who's offended you. Release the control and power that the offending person and situation have had in your life.
What is something you could never forgive in a relationship?
Constant Lying
This can tie into cheating, but also just lying in general. If your partner keeps lying to you, he or she can't be trusted, and it's a level of disrespect and shadiness that might not be forgiven in a relationship, says Ziegler.
The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others.
