It is customary to show your respects by viewing the deceased if the body is present and the casket is open. You may wish to say a silent prayer for, or meditate about, the deceased at this time. In some cases the family may escort you to the casket. The length of your visit at the wake is a matter of discretion.
When attending a service, be on time and enter the house of worship or location where the funeral will be held as quietly as possible. If there are no ushers, remember that the seats closer to the front should be taken by very close friends, with acquaintances seating themselves in the middle or towards the rear.
"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. ADVERTISEMENT. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
Even if you didn't know the person who has died well, you are honoring his or her memory by taking the time to pay your respects. Those who are mourning will take comfort in knowing that others care enough about them and their loved ones to go out of their way to personally express their support.
Use your own words to convey messages like these:
We care and love you deeply.” He/She was such a fine person.” “What you're going through must be very difficult.” “It's too bad he/she died. I will always remember him/her.” “He/she lived a full life and was an inspiration to me and many others.”
The worst things to say at a funeral
Don't tell friends or family members who are grieving that their loved one has gone to a better place. Never call the death a blessing or speculate that it was that person's time. Avoid saying anything that suggests that the loss of the loved one is a positive thing.
Contact the bereaved person as soon as possible after their loved one's death. This contact could be a personal visit, telephone call, text message, sympathy card or flowers. Attend the funeral or memorial service if you can. They need to know that you care enough to support them through this difficult event.
Definition of 'pay one's last respects'
If you pay your last respects to someone who has just died, you show your respect or affection for them by coming to see their body or their grave.
Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.
Is It Okay to Smile at a Funeral? It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.
It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent's funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find that you would like to say goodbye in your own way.
It's OK to laugh and smile
A funeral doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. In fact, more and more people are accepting funerals as celebrations of life rather than somber affairs. Although there are times to be solemn, “humor is a powerful thing,” Cunningham says.
Remembering the Deceased
In the days and weeks after the funeral or memorial service, you can pay your respects by visiting the graveyard or crypt where the deceased was laid to rest. It is generally acceptable to bring flowers or other mementos of the dead. This is a great way to privately honor the deceased.
There is no hard and fast rule as to who should give the eulogy speech at a funeral. It's typically given by those who were particularly close, or had a special relationship with, the loved one who passed. It could be a best friend, a spouse, a child or grandchild, or even a co-worker.
You don't need to send a formal thank you note to everyone who attended the funeral/visitation or sent you a sympathy card. Instead, a thank you note or acknowledgement should be sent to anyone who has done something extra, including: People who sent or brought flowers.
“Thank you for helping us through the funeral process. We had no idea where to begin, and you walked us through each part. We appreciate the compassion you showed our family at this difficult time. Hopefully we will not need your services anytime soon, but if we do, I know we will be in good hands.”