This strategy can be used with both the narcissist and their flying monkeys. Show them all the personality of a grey rock. Give one-word answers like “Yeah” or short answers like “I'm doing OK.” Don't share anything that is going on in your life. Responses should be completely emotionless.
The best way to deal with a flying monkey is to restrain yourself from engaging in meaningful interactions with them by using techniques such as the Gray Rock Method, Yellow Rock Method, No Contact Method, or the Low Contact Method.
Don't Let Them Distort Your Reality
The narcissist's henchmen will use gaslighting to make you question your reality, experiences, self-worth, and identity. So, make sure that you stick to reality and facts. For example, document any communication with flying monkeys that involves them bashing you.
So when you are ignoring them, and their job is to get as much intel from you as possible, they fail the narcissistic leader in their life. When you ignore the flying monkey, you are legit taking away their purpose.
Some flying monkeys are entirely unaware that they are participating in narcissistic abuse. Therefore, they will believe negative things about you because they are unsuspecting of the narcissist's lies. There will, however, always be those who suspect or are fully aware that the narcissist is lying about you.
Sometimes flying monkeys are victims themselves, trapped by the lies of a narcissist. Other times they are like mini-narcissists, not caring about the damage they are doing. In hindsight, some flying monkeys begin to realize they were a participant in a target's abuse when the narcissist's true colors are revealed.
– Malice and jealousy: Even if the flying monkeys are not people under the influence of the narcissist, they may be people who for some reason dislike you, have jealousy or malicious intent towards you. In this case, it will be beneficial for them to side with the narcissist against you.
Often, flying monkeys are people-pleasers. They want to be helpful and don't want to disappoint the narcissist, particularly if they're a friend or relative. And it's likely that they've been manipulated or coerced by the narcissist themselves, or fear them and submit to them so they don't become a target themselves.
Flying monkeys are aggressive enablers, who shield the narcissist from being held to account. During the love bombing phase of the cycle of narcissistic abuse, they support the narcissist by lending them credibility.
Flying monkeys often operate under the illusion that they serve both parties best interests and believe that the narcissist's toxic relationships are worth saving. People who do the narcissists dirty work for them are often unaware of the manipulation of being involved with a narcissist.
Winged Monkeys. According to some writers, the Winged Monkeys of Oz represent Native Americans in the West in the late 1800s. Baum himself had clear attitudes toward American Indians and some of his earlier writings about Indians are very similar to his descriptions of the Winged Monkeys found in Oz.
When the narcissist wants to evoke some punishment on a target they dispatch their henchmen (aka flying monkeys) to do their bidding. Unfortunately, this can and often does include abusive behavior such as guilt-tripping, twisting the truth, gaslighting, assaults, threats, and violence.
Manipulative narcissists can turn people against you by bringing one or more additional people into an argument, spat, or disagreement that was originally just between you and the narcissist.
Keep Up The Image
One of the best ways to subtly outsmart a narcissistic person is to keep up your image as a straightforward person who doesn't take any nonsense from anyone. No narcissist likes tackling this kind of person as they are harder to manipulate and fall into the charm trap, they like setting.
Flying monkeys also end up getting discarded, which eventually breaks their illusion. If you are important to them and they are worthy of being in your life, they will eventually come back understanding the reality — if not, you are better off without them.
Presence of big dogs in premises shall make monkeys leave the area. Monkeys are scared of snakes. Keep real looking plastic snakes at roof tops or boundary wall of your house. Loud heavy noise, bursting of crackers or their sound track will force the monkeys to leave any premises.
Other signs of anxiety or fear in NHPs include piloerection, or making oneself look larger (Hinde and Rowell 1962). Bared-teeth grins, also known as fear grins or fear grimaces, may indicate fear in various NHP species, although there may be other functions for this facial expression (Petit and Thierry 1992).
The best way to get rid of a flying monkey is to run their comments through a filter of truth, educate them if you can, and always refuse to play their games.
The final stage of the cycle of narcissistic abuse is the hoover maneuver. In this stage the flying monkeys enable the narcissist to hook the target and reel them back into the relationship so the cycle of narcissistic abuse can begin again. This may be done by carrying messages from the narcissist to the target.
Flying monkeys can be your friends, family, coworkers or the narcissist's friends, family, or coworkers before you got there. To maintain the illusion of the power they have over you, the narcissist will employ the use of third parties, through which they will attempt to continue control and manipulate you.