Set boundaries with a narcissist and stick to them, don't engage, and don't try to debate with them. When narcissists are in an angry state of mind, they cannot think clearly and there is no reasoning with them. It's okay to ignore them or walk away to protect yourself if they're becoming rageful or violent.
Narcissists Try to Upset You to Create a Confrontation That Allows Them to Victimize Themselves and Get Narcissistic Supply. When a narcissist tries to upset you to make you angry, they are trying to push you into having a reaction that allows them to victimize themselves.
Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled. They want to be in control and will go to any length to keep feeling empowered. It's critical to understand that a narcissist will not leave you alone the first time you ignore them.
One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them. Especially if they feel like you are pulling away.
Narcissists don't like being ignored by anyone or anything. The narcissist perceives your withdrawal as a personal attack. People with narcissistic personality disorder don't understand healthy personal boundaries and won't suddenly have any respect for yours.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
Narcissists tend to lie, exaggerate, or intentionally leave out information to support their narratives. So chances are, anything they tell you isn't reliable to begin with. It's likely just another one of their baiting tactics.
Some typical examples of bait include: Fear-provoking & scaremongering - these include any attempts to illicit fear and anxiety in you or others. A narcissist will seem to inherently attune to your specific fears, insecurities or anxieties. Intrigue - classic narcissistic fishing technique of trying to pull others in.
They may feel impatient or angry when special treatment is denied and that may escalate conflicts. Most narcissists who may experience narcissistic rage feel easily downtrodden or negated when others act superior. It is hard for them to stay calm and control emotions, behavior, stress, and changes in their own life.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
Lacking Boundaries – A narcissist does not like boundaries. They look for targets who are unable to set or maintain their boundaries. They use this to manipulate and transfer blame and accountability to their partners. They know you won't tell them no and that they can easily control you.
Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.
Rejection
Rejection causes major narcissistic injury and is one of the top 10 things narcissists fear the most. They can't handle it, even if it's a tiny slight. Remember, they have a sense of entitlement and pride themselves on being the ones who reject and discard their victims.
Don't accommodate them. If they need you to do something for them, even if it's small or no trouble at all — don't do it. Try to refuse them with the least amount of fuss possible. Know that the more you do for the narcissist, the worse it will get.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Intentionally shutting down during an argument or conversation, also known as giving the silent treatment, is often used as a means of exerting control or avoiding conflict. While stonewalling is typically used as a way to avoid conflict, narcissists will use stonewalling as a tool for manipulation.