While it's normal to have occasional anxious thoughts—especially in a new relationship—a regular habit of overthinking can be a serious obstacle in a healthy relationship.
Symptoms of relationship anxiety may include self-silencing and excessive reassurance-seeking. People with relationship anxiety may also crave acceptance from their partner and fear rejection. These symptoms can negatively impact the relationship over time.
You need to find out first if he is putting in no effort because he is losing interest, or he genuinely has a lot of other things going on in his life that are taking more of his time. It is important to open up a conversation and check in with him to see how things are going with him and if anything is bothering him.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
Doubt often comes, for example, when a new level of a relationship presents itself, such as talk of moving in or of marriage. So some doubts are really just a stress response. They can be our brain's way of working through and preparing for the new challenges ahead.
One of the easiest ways to tell the difference between a gut instinct and anxiety is by how long your symptoms last. A gut instinct is often a reaction to an immediate situation. Anxiety, on the other hand, might be present regardless of its relevance to your current experience.
ROCD is the fear of being in the wrong relationship, fear of not being truly loved by your partner, or fear of not truly loving your partner. It's important to keep in mind that no matter how disturbing the thoughts you have may be, you are not a bad person for simply experiencing intrusive thoughts.
You Have Trouble Communicating. It makes sense to have doubts about your relationship if you feel like you can't talk to your partner. Like trust, communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. Both people in a relationship should be able to go to each other with thoughts, feelings, and concerns.
Signs of relationship anxiety
You frequently worry about what you mean to your partner, what your partner is doing when you are not around and whether your relationship will work out. You worry that your partners feelings for you have changed if you haven't heard from them in a while.
Some people are afraid that their partner will leave them. Some people experience anxiety because their partner is "too" something - too rich, too good-looking, too busy, too talkative, etc. The partner (boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, wife) has qualities that lead to anxiety.
Watch a movie, go out with your friends, focus on your work, engage in a hobby, cook a fun meal, or do something else you enjoy. Seek therapy: A therapist can work with you to explore the causes of your paranoia, identify your triggers, develop coping techniques, and improve your communication skills.
Overthinking in a relationship is often due to a poor understanding of your own needs. When you begin to overthink something that is happening in your relationship, ask yourself, “what need do I currently have that is going unmet?” This can help you communicate with your partner.
You're not getting your needs met
When the lines of communication break down, you may start to feel a sense of longing, unease, and even bitterness. Something's off if you're constantly craving affection that isn't provided, or if you find yourself daydreaming of a more fulfilling relationship.
Do I rarely feel like myself anymore? Am I anxious or desperate toward my relationship partner? Do I feel like there is something wrong with me that I am frantic to fix? Has my relationship impacted or hurt my friendships?
If you're not being satisfied emotionally, sexually or intellectually, it's probably time to move on. Ending a relationship is hard, but it's sometimes the only correct thing to do. If you and your partner aren't connecting on the most fundamental levels, it will be best for both of you to move on.
It may be hard to love an overthinker because there are times when you have to step up in the relationship. You might have to make decisions, offer support, and give them their space when you feel like you need some of these things yourself. However, this doesn't mean that you won't get anything back from your mate.
Whether it stems from lack of trust, fear of abandonment, questioning your compatibility or worrying about non-reciprocated feelings, most people experience some form of unease about the future of their partnership.