People with this syndrome constantly reach out to their favorite person, especially when they are not responding to their texts and calls. As people experiencing FP feel the need to be constantly connected to their favorite person, they might become upset or anxious if they show signs of losing contact with them.
At first, a favorite person may seem like a “savior” for the individual with BPD. They often believe this person is perfect, and they will inherently idolize them. As a result, they may feel euphoric when spending time together and often miss them deeply when they are apart.
Favorite Person in BPD
While it's normal to have a person that makes you happy with their presence and regular communication, a person with BPD views their favorite person (FP) as someone they cannot live without.
JAN. 06, 2020. I find it difficult to explain to anyone who doesn't have borderline personality disorder (BPD) how a favorite-person (FP) relationship works. I often have people tease me or make comments about how attached I am. They don't understand how I feel like I wouldn't be able to function without that person.
An “FP” (or Favorite Person) is a person who someone with mental illness relies on for support, and often looks up to or idolizes. Common with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it's often that someone has a minimum of one FP, but a person can have many.
Within the context of BPD, an FP represents a person who is a source of comfort and an anchor. They are different from a best friend in that they are a person on whom you depend emotionally. They provide emotional validation and security and you may start to believe that they are the only person who can make you happy.
Splitting is a psychological mechanism which allows the person to tolerate difficult and overwhelming emotions by seeing someone as either good or bad, idealised or devalued. This makes it easier to manage the emotions that they are feeling, which on the surface seem to be contradictory.
Much personality mirroring likely stems from a desire for social acceptance, something that we can all relate to. As such, you might opt to see it and the person behind it with a kind eye – especially if that person is you.
Be grateful that you had your favorite person, for as long as you did. Think about what experiences and lessons you have learned from that person. Practice personal gratitude for the time you had together, rather than demonizing that former favorite person. When you are in a better state of mind, you will move on.
People with BPD tend to experience intense emotions. In theory, “quiet BPD” describes when these significant feelings are directed toward yourself without letting others see them. Some of the emotions associated with BPD include: anger or rage. anxiety.
This is where the term “favorite person” comes from in the borderline community. There is usually one of two people that we absolutely idolize and want to spend all our time with, and if they are busy and can't spend time with us we tend to get angry and feel abandoned.
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While people with BPD feel euphoria (ephemeral or occasional intense joy), they are especially prone to dysphoria (a profound state of unease or dissatisfaction), depression, and/or feelings of mental and emotional distress.
Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.
While relationships can be challenging when one or both partners have BPD, healthy bonds are still possible. Learning more about the condition and seeking professional support can be helpful steps.
[A] favorite person can also be the one who we hold up high and try to emulate. The favorite person is the one who makes us feel happy. Also can be the one who we lash out at and feel the worst about it because we don't want them to leave.” — Jennifer R.
People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.
Losing your favorite person feels like losing everything. In the moment it feels like nothing else matters. It feels like you can't breathe.