It affects your confidence and self-awareness, as well as how you interact and communicate with others. You may feel numb or disembodied at times - unable to connect to your bodily sensations, express your emotions or maintain feelings of intimacy.
That means being open, curious and calm rather than defensive, aggressive and upset. Empathise. Put yourself in their shoes and show that you understand this is difficult for them. You might say, “I get that you don't want to have this conversation” or “I know this is difficult to talk about…”
There are a number of different things that can cause emotional numbness to occur. While depression and anxiety are the most common causes, others include the following: Stress and stress hormones: Elevated cortisol levels can lead to emotional numbness in some people.
Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That's not what you want or need in a relationship. Explain that you can't resolve issues this way, then be specific about those issues. If this sort of behavior is a relationship deal-breaker for you, state it plainly.
Focus on your own feelings
Both Neblett and Gatling agree that if you address someone's emotional unavailability, express how it's affecting you and lead with "I" statements. It's also important to have clear examples of why you think they're emotionally unavailable so that they don't feel ambushed, Neblett emphasizes.
Stonewalling, one of the Four Horsemen, is Dr. John Gottman's term for one or both partners shutting down when feeling overwhelmed during conflict. Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be unresponsive, making evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, or acting busy.
Send a text or note asking whether the issue was why you haven't heard from your friend. Make an honest apology. Ask what you can do to make things right and move forward. Avoid calling your friend out on social media or in front of your other friends.
Many people suffer from shutting down when they are upset. There is no one cause of this behavior. It could be a self-defense mechanism, it could be an inability to process negative feelings, and it could be due to dissociation. These are just a few reasons why someone may shut down when they are upset.
When trauma and chronic stress become overwhelming, our nervous system tends to move into a shutdown state. Counsellors often refer to it as dissociation, a common response to traumatic events.
“Stonewalling is actually a learned defense mechanism that might stem from an unpleasant emotional or physical reaction someone has experienced in the past. Or your partner may simply not be able to express how they feel so instead they shut down,” Dr. Dannaram said.
According to the study, a back-burner is “a person to whom one is not presently committed, and with whom one maintains some degree of communication in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement”.
Narcissist Stonewalling
Stonewalling is the refusal to communicate with someone. This means that your spouse refuses to listen to you and your concerns. Stonewalling is one of the most prevalent narcissistic abuse techniques.
The antidote to stonewalling is to learn to calm yourself down actively and then to re-engage in the conversation. Antidotes to stonewalling: - Check for feelings of being emotionally overwhelmed (i.e. emotional flooding). - Take time out: Tell your partner you need a break from the conflict discussion.
They have difficulty identifying what they are feeling.
It's no wonder men often have difficulty identifying what they are feeling, other than anger. They can become defensive and pull away when emotion is being expressed to them unless they know how to speak the language of emotion.
If he is not responding to your text, simply say that you are sorry if you said something wrong and then ask if he is ready to talk or to ping you once he is. This dialogue comes into play if you have done something wrong or you know what you last said or wrote may have hurt his feelings.
Ease back into communicating with him.
To start talking again, don't text or call him every day. You can reach out to him, but don't follow up if he doesn't immediately respond. Start by being casual and see how things go. Try sending a message that says, "Hey, I was just checking in to see how you're doing.
An emotionally unavailable man has a difficult time knowing how to engage in the real-stuff conversations. In some instances, he may have some capacity to listen, but is emotionally shutting that part of himself down so that you don't get too close. If that's the case, you will likely feel shut down and alone.
Many people ask questions like can emotionally unavailable men fall in love? The answer is yes! They can fall in love when they see the right person. Emotionally unavailable men would be ready to drop all their unhealthy behaviors so that they would not scare their love interest away.