Focusing on your needs shows them what they're losing.
Many narcissists are users. They expect you to be there for them, but they have no intention of reciprocating. Start saying “no” to them, and focus on what you want instead. They'll get super frustrated and realize how great a partner you were for them.
Narcissists often react to an emotional wound with rage outbursts, passive-aggression, or denial to protect themselves from future harm. Common signs of narcissistic injury include projection, gaslighting, and manipulation.
Don't accommodate them. If they need you to do something for them, even if it's small or no trouble at all — don't do it. Try to refuse them with the least amount of fuss possible. Know that the more you do for the narcissist, the worse it will get.
So, if you want to hurt a narcissist, you need to go for the jugular and hit them at the Diamond level. Exposing them to the people they respect, try to impress, or look good to will hurt more than indifference, no doubt about it. Remember that there is no better day than today to start negotiating your best life.
Saying 'No', enforcing boundaries and challenging them are some of the tips on how to checkmate a narcissist by making them fear you. Holding them accountable, publicly exposing them and going 'no contact' are other strategies on how to outsmart a narcissist.
Rejection causes major narcissistic injury and is one of the top 10 things narcissists fear the most. They can't handle it, even if it's a tiny slight. Remember, they have a sense of entitlement and pride themselves on being the ones who reject and discard their victims.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
The most effective weapon to fend off a narcissist is self-love. Narcissists do not want to feel like you don't need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
So if they come to you with news or talk, try to remain as uninterested as possible. For example, giving one-worded answers such as ”maybe” or ”I don't know” and keeping the conversation as brief as possible will eventually bore the narcissist who needs this attention to survive.
Attention-seeking behavior—positive or negative—is essentially narcissistic supply. Wanting attention, accolades, and validation are not inherently narcissistic. We all need to feel heard and accepted, but narcissists crave this attention constantly.
Narcissists want to be in control of everything, and that includes the plans you make with them. If you want to drive a narcissist crazy, be late to time-sensitive plans to throw off their day. Be unreliable so they never know what to expect from you next.
