The reason you have no friends may be because you are shy, uncomfortable interacting with others, or simply don't go places that would lead to meeting new people. You don't have friends may have a lot to do with your mindset.
You're attracted to uninvolved people because some part of you may also be unavailable. That's not something that makes you a bad person or partner. Rather, these are your deeply ingrained fears of intimacy, commitment, engulfment, rejection, or getting hurt.
In general, based on 2021 survey data, the average person in America has between 3 and 5 close friends. According to this survey: almost half (49%) report having 3 or fewer close friends. over one-third (36%) report having between 4 and 9 close friends.
Additionally, the most cited reasons for why one can't make friends with ease were cited to be shyness (53 per cent), the feeling that friendships needed too much work (20 per cent), and a busy life (14 per cent).
The effects of not having friends may depend on your perspective. If you are happy and still have social support, you are likely fine with your social situation. If you feel lonely or isolated, however, it may be time to think about expanding your social circle.
They don't have any friends.
If your new partner is somewhat of a lone wolf, that could be cause for concern. Jessica Harrison, a licensed professional counselor and owner of Courageous Counseling and Consulting, says a lack of long-term friendships is a major red flag.
Shyness, introversion, and social anxiety may make people put the brakes on connecting with others. If a person has poor self-esteem or mental health issues, they may also struggle to connect. If this sounds like you, you may need some extra support to start feeling your best.
As a general rule of thumb, a person is likely to be disliked if they are overwhelmingly negative, put others down or have no interest in their peers. Social anxiety can also be a concern; a person who thinks little of their own social aptitude may appear unlikable to others.
If you find yourself always focusing on the negative in your relationships with other people, you might find yourself feeling disconnected from those around you. This may stem from having excessively high expectations for how others should behave, but it may also be caused by a general lack of empathy.
"Lacking encouragement from family or friends, those who are lonely may slide into unhealthy habits," Valtorta says. "In addition, loneliness has been found to raise levels of stress, impede sleep and, in turn, harm the body. Loneliness can also augment depression or anxiety."
Fully 98% of teens say they have one or more close friends: 78% say they have between one and five close friends, while 20% have six or more close friends. Just 2% of teens say they do not have anyone they consider a close friend.
We, as humans, often want what we can't have. If you're chasing after somebody who's emotionally unavailable, it's going to be a never ending, dead-end chase, but that might be exciting to you. There's a lot of psychology behind this, too, it's called intermittent reinforcement.
There are many reasons why someone might be emotionally unavailable. Sometimes a person may have a fear of intimacy, says Sprowl. That fear of becoming close to someone might stem from anything from an avoidant attachment style, to trust issues due to past relationships, to general commitment issues.
What Causes Emotional Unavailability? While there is no one explanation for emotional unavailability, it can be caused by a number (or combination) of factors. These include attachment styles developed in childhood, history in relationships, trauma, mental health conditions, and one's circumstances and priorities.