Some narcissists respond to crying by simply telling you to stop doing it. This is a reflection of their own discomfort. He may, for example, feel temporarily guilty or anxious, and he wants to squash those feelings. But instead of turning inward, he just projects onto you.
Some narcissists may calmly respond to your tears and simply ask you not to cry. They may say that to try to act compassionate and make you believe that they're comforting you. What is this? But truth is, it's about how your tears are making them uncomfortable.
Interestingly, some narcissists are attracted to people who cry in front of them. This usually happens when they're hunting for an egotistical supply and need fresh victims. Crying is a sign of vulnerability, so they see the tears as a way in.
They Face a Setback, Disappointment, or Conflict
A narcissist can become easily enraged if a setback occurs in their life, job, or relationship. Not getting their way results in both a loss of control and a bruised ego.
They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness. These emotions, however, don't often have roots in empathy.
Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Narcissists won't be there for you to comfort you if you are sad. Instead, they will just wait for your tears to dry up. They might have empathy, but they also have a lack of compassion.
This is one of the more triggering reactions that can occur when a narcissist sees you cry. Nobody likes to be laughed at, but this is exactly how some narcissists respond to emotion. What is this? Him laughing simply means that he does not care about your emotions.
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.
Narcissists cry alone
But letting someone know is another question. Rage is far more common with others than crying. To cry is to feel what's inside because efforts never to feel what's inside predominate. This is seen behaviorally and in their actions aimed to demonstrate power and control over others.
When we look deep into a narcissists life, it's quite depressing. They are victims of their false self and are in a constant battle with themselves to keep that false mask on. They are well aware of their flaws, low self-esteem, fragile egos and inferiority complex.
Narcissists often react to an emotional wound with rage outbursts, passive-aggression, or denial to protect themselves from future harm. Common signs of narcissistic injury include projection, gaslighting, and manipulation.
A narcissistic collapse represents an emotional reaction a narcissist experiences when their fragile self-esteem is threatened. So, any situation in which a person with NPD feels neglected, humiliated, or confronted may lead to a narcissistic collapse, causing them to stop functioning or harm themselves or others.
Narcissists are hurt by challenges or threats to their superior and grandiose self-image (also known as narcissistic injury). Their sense of entitlement and lack of empathy means they will attempt to destroy the culprit by any means necessary.
Nightmares, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts. Hyper-awareness, vigilance, anger, and irritability. Misplaced sense of blame, low self-worth. Avoidance of certain situations or people or a sense of detachment.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry. But you know I would never deliberately hurt you.
Drinking alcohol lowers inhibitions and can increase other narcissist behaviors including self-absorption, denial, illusions of grandeur, and destructiveness. These behaviors can lead to poor choices, including drinking and driving or excessive consumption, which can be fatal.
And like a tired, cranky 3-year-old, the end result is a massive (and unpleasant) tantrum. "Narcissists often control people through these tantrums because their rage can be so worrisome or downright frightening that everyone gives in to them," says Durvasula.