Avoidance of consequences: Narcissists may be reluctant to accept the consequences of their actions. Admitting infidelity could lead to conflict, blame and loss of trust on the part of their partner. Rather than face these consequences and take responsibility, they prefer to keep their infidelity a secret.
If you suspect your narcissistic partner is cheating, explore your emotions and response options before confronting them. Keep in mind that they may employ tactics like gaslighting, denial, defensiveness, or even become abusive, so this encounter may not go well if you're hoping to work things out.
They lie compulsively
If they are cheating on you, they'll be lying to prevent themselves from getting caught. However, they may even lie when they have no reason to do so at all, as it gives them a sense of superiority. If you notice them lying about small everyday things, it could be a sign they are cheating on you.
When a narcissist is caught cheating and lying, they often make up a heap of more lies to convince you that they've been nothing but faithful. Even if you have evidence of cheating, they're likely to deny everything and even project their infidelity onto you.
They will either deny, deflect, devalue, and/or dismiss you. Deny. “It wasn't me.” “I didn't do that.”
Narcissists also lie by withholding and selecting information. They lie as a form of gaslighting to extend their control over targets by making them constantly question and doubt themselves. They often frequently claim that they value and even love their targets. In doing so, they have little to no inhibitions.
A narcissistic liar is a person who lies to get what they want. They are often charming and persuasive. But their primary goal is always self-promotion. They want to present themselves in a certain light and believe they can get away with it.
Projection is a hallmark sign of the narcissist. If they are cheating (which is more common among narcissists than others), they will accuse you of cheating. These accusations ramp up when you go out of town or engage in an activity without them. Also, time away means less attention for them.
Narcissistic partners act as if they are always right, that they know better and that their partner is wrong or incompetent. This often leaves the other person in the relationship either angry and trying to defend themselves or identifying with this negative self-image and feeling badly about themselves.
People who with narcissistic cheating behaviors may express how much they're enjoying these new activities and new people — especially potential new partners — as a way of making their current partner jealous and inflating their sense of self-worth.
The most common traits narcissists possess are dismissiveness, entitlement, and grandiosity—including blatant defiance of your boundaries, jealousy and resentment when someone else captures the spotlight, and outrageous expectations for how their needs should be met—while grasping for anyone to cloak them in validation ...
Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.
A narcissist's cheating tendency seems to come from their desire for admiration and attention. They may also feel entitled to cheat and believe they are above the rules of fidelity. As one relationship expert notes, “The narcissist will never admit to cheating because it would mean admitting that they are not perfect.”
If you are involved with a narcissist, then you are quite used to being lied to. Their constant lies simply come with the territory. To a normal person, it may be very perplexing to be lied to all the time by someone who purports to care for you. Learn about what the narcissist seems to gain from telling lies all time.
Some cheaters get angry when confronted.
In fact, people who are being unfaithful to their partners often act unusually irritable or look for excuses to pick fights, even when you're not directly confronting them about what's going on.
Final Thoughts on the Red Flags of a Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit traits such as a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance. It's essential to understand that dealing with a narcissist can be draining and challenging.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'”
The Psychodynamic Process Enables Cheating
In the quest for narcissistic supply, the somatic narcissist resorts to serial sexual conquests. Narcissists are easily bored (they have a low boredom threshold) and they have a low tolerance for boredom. Sexual dalliances alleviate this nagging and frustrating ennui.
Accusations: When you're in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser, you may be accused of lying, stealing, cheating, or other negative behaviors. Being wrongfully accused can put you on the defensive, which can help deflect from the behaviors and actions of someone with NPD.
It is easy to be tricked by the covert narcissist because unlike the classic narcissist that many of us have learned to recognize with their charm, flash, attention-seeking ostentatious presentation, the covert narcissist is stealth. These people tend to be more introverted and subtle, so they can be easy to miss.
They ignore you because they want to control you. One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them.
They Have Grandiose Fantasies
On the outside, a person with covert narcissism will seem quiet, meek, and self-critical. However, on the inside, they feel an intense sense of specialness. Despite their jealousy, envy, and apparent shyness, covert narcissists will believe they are better than everyone else.