They use shock, awe, and guilt. Narcissists continue to gain control of the people in their lives by eliciting difficult emotions. “After going through a period of 'grooming' someone for a close relationship, the narcissist moves on to use shock, awe, and guilt to maintain control,” Talley explains.
They're excellent manipulators and use covert tactics as well as overt power tactics and narcissistic abuse, such as belittling, lying, bullying, attacking, criticizing, or raging at the person they're trying to influence as well as derogating their competitors.
Ridiculing you. Those who live with narcissism may find it difficult to hold positive and negative feelings for someone at the same time. As a result, things may get heated in an argument. You may experience insults, put-downs, and even mocking behaviors, like laughing as you express hurt.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry.
Narcissists may use manipulation tactics such as saying something hurtful and passing it off as a joke. Overcoming manipulation could involve listening to oneself, setting boundaries, and refusing to engage in verbal combat.
Narcissists are manipulators who have no qualms about twisting a partner's words or actions in a way that would make the partner feel guilty or remorseful about things she has no reason to feel bad about.
Things You Should Know
A narcissist is likely to be enraged when they begin to lose control. They may lash out at you, go on a smear campaign, or purposefully ignore you. They may also lovebomb you to reel you back in. Their main goal is to get your attention, provoke a response, and regain power.
A manipulative narcissist will play mind games to manipulate you to the point where you'll start to question your judgment, memory, and reality. For example, you told them to do something they probably forgot to do. Instead of admitting that, they'll now say you've never told them to do it, and you're imagining things.
Toxic People, for the Most Part, Are Narcissists
Narcissists have absolutely no concerns outside of their own needs and desires. They don't care about the people around them as much as they care about themselves.
They are very insecure and sensitive people, which means they can take offence very easily. This can end up in couples having the same arguments over and over again. Sometimes they are unaware of being abusive to their partners, but other times they will genuinely want to cause them harm.
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners. People with self-esteem issues tend to think of themselves as imperfect or unlovable.
Victims of narcissistic abuse have been reported to experience symptoms similar to PTSD, known informally as narcissistic abuse syndrome. Symptoms include intrusive, invasive, or unwanted thoughts, flashbacks, avoidance, feelings of loneliness, isolation, and feeling extremely alert.
Narcissistic Grooming Technique: Isolating you from family and friends. The narcissist will try to isolate you from your support system. He will do this by making negative comments about the people in your life in an attempt to turn you against them. If that fails he will make it difficult for you to see them.
As a narcissistic abuse survivor, you will likely have symptoms of post-traumatic stress. Your brain will be on high alert, looking out for danger. This is because the traumatic events triggered a fight or flight response within you. As a result, anything associated with those memories can trigger an anxiety attack.
"You're a bad person." "Nobody else will ever love you." "I'm the best you'll ever have." "Have fun being alone for the rest of your life."
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.