Narcissists hate losing their supply, so they won't let you go easily. Prepare for them to promise "to change." They might suddenly start doing things for you that you'd been complaining about. They may say "you'll be lost without me," or "you'll never find someone like me." Don't listen, Orloff advises.
People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.
Not caring is such a power
The narcissist will react in two ways when you no longer care about them. They will either lash out and attempt to punish you for not caring, or they will disappear and cut off all communication with you.
A narcissistic personality uses denial as a primary defense to grief. Denial is a way to defend against feelings and emotions that may make them seem human to others. A person with NPD may prefer to maintain their grandiose personality and distorted view of life and death to protect their fragile and vulnerable ego.
They Try To Guilt-Trip You To Stay Back
A narcissist can go to great lengths to hold you back in a relationship. They may use guilt as a tool to break your resolve to leave. They may remind you of all that they have done for you and accuse you of being ungrateful and self-centered.
Any type of breakup is hard, but when you've been in a relationship with a narcissist a breakup can feel like it's going to literally break you. It's exhausting dating a narcissist, and it can be deadly to break up with one.
They will never truly be happy because they don't have the emotional capacity for it. They can only play games and try to put others down. Show them you're living your best life without them, and they'll experience their own version of heartbreak.
If a narcissist is interested in you, you might notice that they shower you with admiration and attention shortly after you meet them. They might be quick to say “I love you,” put you on a pedestal, and make grand romantic gestures.
Narcissistic collapse happens when someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can no longer uphold their grandiose, confident image. When this occurs, they feel profoundly threatened. As a result, they tend to become enraged, resulting in impulsive behavior, intense lashing out, or hurting other people.
Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
After the break-up, people will experience an obsessive longing for their abusive partner (drug), debilitating emotional pain, and often engage in self-destructive behavior. This emotional response is why some people feel incapacitated by the hurt and obsess about hooking up with an ex-partner for more abuse.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when it's they who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
A vulnerable narcissist is more likely to want you to break up with them. They're used to feeling sorry for themselves and aren't fans of confrontation. Grandiose narcissists love the spotlight and are happy to jump in for a good fight. They're also more likely to flirt with potential partners in your presence.
Narcissists live with an unquenchable thirst for attention and affection and use underhanded tactics to achieve their goals. Talking trash about ex-partners to gain pity and sympathy is common. Plus, they use cautionary tales about their “horrible” exes to groom new partners.
For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.
As far as the narcissist is concerned, the end of the relationship is almost not as important as how it ended. If you were the one who initiated no contact and broke things off, the narcissist will most likely strive to come back. Only to exit your life as soon as they can, after calling things officially off.
Narcissistic collapse happens when a person with narcissistic personality disorder experiences a failure, humiliation, or other blow to their secretly fragile self-esteem. Depending on the type of narcissist, collapse may look different and happen more frequently.
They want to see how much they can destroy you
Narcissists thrive on chaos, so they do not act out of jealousy, as that would imply they want your relationships, career, wealth, or health for themselves. Rather, they just don't want to see other people happy.
The cerebral cortex has also been found to be less developed in narcissists and this area is responsible for memory, emotions and behaviour. Therefore the narcissist seems to move on so fast because their emotions are not as deep as ours but also, they don't form memories in the same way the rest of us do.
Seeing you move on may feel like they are losing control, which is something narcissists have trouble tolerating. They may send you nasty text messages, emails, voicemails, disparage you to your friends or children, make false allegations against you, and make you feel like you are crazy or incompetent.