Don't say things like 'I'm sorry, but I wouldn't have done it if you did. ' Instead, tell them how sorry you are and admit that you're in the wrong. Don't try to justify your snooping, and don't blame your partner for your actions. Reassure them that you'd NEVER snoop again if they give the relationship another chance.
Surprisingly though, 25% of study participants who had been snooped on decided to stay in the relationship and found that the partnership got stronger because of it.
According to a 2020 Pew Research survey, more than one-third of people admit to snooping on their partner's phones — even though 70% agree that this activity is rarely or never acceptable. Obviously, looking through your devices and communications can breed some serious trust issues.
Experts agree that honesty is the best policy in any relationship — so as a general rule, it's a good idea to admit to the snooping.
Checking the phone does not help the relationship
Stalking is unhealthy behaviour. It is not only distressing to your partner but is equally as mentally torturous to you. Because you are preoccupied with finding out the truth, you have little energy to focus on anything else.
According to a new survey, nearly two thirds of people have looked through their partner's private messages. A third of people admitted to doing it less than six months into their relationship. People snoop for various reasons. They might have been hurt in the past, or they might simply be curious.
So, Is It Ever OK? The long and short of it: No, it's generally not OK. It's a violation of your partner's privacy and a breach of trust ― not to mention, it's often unproductive: You might find nothing and then feel like a jerk for snooping. You might find something small and innocent and blow it out of proportion.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry.
Answer your spouse's questions about the sexting honestly.
Rebuilding trust begins by putting everything out in the open. They will probably want to know the nitty gritty details of your sexting, like how often you texted, if you sent or received any nude photos, or when it all began.
Attention seeking. If there is a breakdown in communication, one partner may feel compelled to snoop in order to find out what is going on in the other person's life. This is a sad attempt to feel included in someone's day-to-day activities.
Snooping is what happens when we feel like we need to “verify” that our partner is doing the right thing. In the age of smart phones and Instagram, it usually means we're going through their phones to look at text messages, DM's, or photos and videos.
Some things to remember in any relationship: You have the right to privacy in any relationship, including with your spouse, partner, and family. In any relationship, you have the right to keep a part of your life secret, no matter how trivial or how important, for the sole reason that you want to.
"Snooping on your partner may lead them to believe you doubt their ability to be faithful and make the right decisions," says Rhonda Richards-Smith, LCSW, a psychotherapist and relationship expert. "If your partner believes you lack faith in them, this can lead to an even deeper communication breakdown."
Phubbing is snubbing one's partner by using their phone . Essentially, instead of being engaged in the partner's conversation, or simply being present in the room, the person is focused on their phone. Simply put, the person doing the phubbing is more focused on their smartphone than their actual partner.
Yes, it's possible; however, rebuilding trust comes down to making the decision to remain in the relationship, having the discipline to do the work, believing that trust can be re-developed, and being vulnerable and open to change.
Rebuilding Trust
Make a conscious decision to love by trying to let go of the past. While achieving this goal fully may take some time, committing to it is what's key. Be open to self-growth and improvement. You can't repair broken trust with just promises and statements of forgiveness.
If you have a habit of always checking your husband's phone when he goes to bed at night, make it a new habit to pick up a book during that time, or power his device down and put it in another room. When you feel the urge to open his email, go for a walk or remove yourself from the room for 10 minutes.
Relationship insecurity can be caused by many different things, but it is often the result of feeling abandoned, neglected, or not good enough. There are signs that indicate your relationship is unhealthy and you may be feeling insecure for a reason.
Both experts agree that secretly going through your partner's phone is not appropriate, but there is one scenario when it's OK to have a look: when it's part of being totally transparent after they have cheated. Notably, in this situation, you aren't snooping on their phone or violating their trust.