This is why it is ok to tell a guy he hurt you. In fact, it is a healthy way of going about relationships. If he seems to have missed it, you should tell him that he hurt your feelings. Otherwise, you'll make room for resentment and anger to build.
If someone treats you poorly and you just let it go, you've taught them that it's okay to treat you this way. But make no mistake: it is okay to feel hurt and it is okay to tell someone they hurt you.
How do you express your feelings when you are hurt?
Avoid blaming the person for how you feel. Instead, express what you're feeling by using “I” instead of "you." Explain the issue in an objective way. This will be less likely to put the person on the defensive. For example, you might say, “I felt hurt that I didn't get a call to tell me you couldn't make it yesterday.”
Ignore him back. The best way to learn how to make a guy feel guilty for hurting you and ignoring you is to just ignore him and get on with things. It's hard and it'll take a lot of your strength but it's easier than wrapping yourself in knots trying to figure things out. You deserve so much better anyway.
I'm so sorry that I hurt you and I'm going to work hard to never be so careless again. You are such an incredible partner and I love you so much. I feel awful that I ever let you down like this. I'm asking for your forgiveness and I promise to do better going forward.
When a man hurts a woman he loves, he feels emotions such as anger, guilt, frustration, self-loathe, fear, etc. Although he may not express his feelings confidently, a man will show signs he is sorry for hurting you or signs he knows he hurt you.
find someone you can trust – such as a close friend, family member, trained volunteer, health or other professionals.
decide on the right time or place to talk to someone – it may feel easier to write something down, talk online or call and practise what you want to say first.
Providing reassurance: “I love you,” “I am here for you,” “I'm not going anywhere.” Validating the hurt: “Of course this hurt you deeply.” Understanding the hurt: “Tell me more about what you are going through.” Hearing the hurt: “You can tell me how you feel.
When we hurt someone for no reason, it's because we fear rejection or disconnection from that person. We hope that, by lashing out, they'll show us more love, attention or understanding. As a result, we'll feel 'safer' in the relationship. So, we behave badly because we want to feel 'safe'.
Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.
Make it seem like this is a pattern of behavior you've come to expect, and certainly not one that you deserve. It's most effective if you bring up things that are similar to whatever you're trying to get the person to apologize for, but it can be anything that upset you.
