Introverts may be happy with two or three good friends; extroverts may need far more. You have enough friendship in your life if you connect frequently enough—in person, by phone, even online—that you don't feel isolated. Yet one in three older adults in one national survey said they do feel lonely.
In general, based on 2021 survey data, the average person in America has between 3 and 5 close friends. According to this survey: almost half (49%) report having 3 or fewer close friends. over one-third (36%) report having between 4 and 9 close friends.
The study suggests we benefit from "feeling a sense of belonging within one's social network" and, really, that could be achieved with any number of buddies. The ideal number is three to five, but it's of course possible to have fewer than that (or more) and be living your best life.
There are a few reasons for feeling lonely even when surrounded by friends and family: You hide your true self. You have a history of being misunderstood or judged. Perhaps you feel insecure about certain aspects of your personality.
Jessica Harrison, a licensed professional counselor and owner of Courageous Counseling and Consulting, says a lack of long-term friendships is a major red flag. "It shows that they have not been committed to growing in relationships, which takes time and effort on both friends' part," says Harrison.
"Lacking encouragement from family or friends, those who are lonely may slide into unhealthy habits," Valtorta says. "In addition, loneliness has been found to raise levels of stress, impede sleep and, in turn, harm the body. Loneliness can also augment depression or anxiety."
All you need is three (or four, or five)
In the 1990s, evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar published a study claiming that humans can cognitively handle up to 150 meaningful social relationships (which includes family and friends) at any point, colloquially known as Dunbar's Number.
This is where behaviors of being too forward or aggressive with your friends can start to hurt the friendship all stemming from the anxious feelings and thoughts you are having. The best way to work through friendship anxiety is through reframing and evidence building.
Some research suggests that loneliness is associated with an increased risk of certain mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, sleep problems and increased stress.
The Pareto principle (also known as the 80/20 rule) advocates the same. It states that for many outcomes, roughly 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes. So, 80% of your deep friendship relations will come from 20% of your friends.
Obviously, most people don't meet all of their friends during childhood and, unfortunately, not all friendships last forever. The poll found that the average friendship lasts for 17 years, however, 17 percent say they've had the same best friend for over 30 years!
What has come to be known as Dunbar's number contends that humans are only cognitively able to maintain about 150 connections at once (subsequent research has put the number higher). That includes an inner circle of about five close friends, followed by larger concentric circles of more casual types of friends.
15 close friends: people you trust and spend time with regularly. 50 friends: people you would invite to a personal event like a wedding or dinner. 150 casual friends: people you would invite to a big party.
However, introverts don't need a wide circle of friends. They prefer one or two close friends, even though they may know many people and have many acquaintances. Despite this preference, introverts are often criticized for not attempting to make more friends, and are often viewed as lacking social skills.
Often getting left out can result from simple miscommunications: Maybe your friends thought you were too busy with your job to go shopping on a weekday. Perhaps you accidentally texted them the wrong date or time for an event, and they planned something else without you.
Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is a long-term and overwhelming fear of social situations. It's a common problem that usually starts during the teenage years. It can be very distressing and have a big impact on your life. For some people it gets better as they get older.
A few common issues that make it hard to find friends include shyness, social anxiety, complaining a lot, and expecting too much from new acquaintances. If you're not sure why you struggle to make friends, ask someone you trust for their perspective. Make sure you're prepared to hear the answer, though.
According to “The Friendship Report,” a global study commissioned by Snapchat in 2019, the average age at which we meet our best friends is 21—a stage when we're not only bonding over formative new experiences such as first love and first heartbreak, but also growing more discerning about whom we befriend.
Experts suggest seeing your friends at least once a week, if not more! Having good friends not only increases life expectancy but it also reduces stress and depression and can have a good influence on your health too.
The accumulation of friends lessens our chances that we will feel socially isolated. Even when controlling for a variety of factors, one of the most important predictors of social isolation is the number of people we count as close friends.
adjective. Someone who is friendless has no friends. The boy was unhappy because he thought he was friendless. Synonyms: alone, abandoned, deserted, isolated More Synonyms of friendless. Collins COBUILD Advanced Learner's Dictionary.
It's possible! Social connections do make life more satisfying, but it doesn't take friendships to lead a happy life. Learn how to be happy without friends by building self-love, keeping your calendar full of positive activities, and strengthening your relationships with other people in your life.