So, while playtime can be a great way to rebuild trust and remind your cat why they love you, make sure they are enjoying it (see below for body language indicators). Bonus points if you can provide toys that occupy your cat without you present. This will serve them well while you are out.
“Cats don't forgive, and once they realize a person is causing them anxiety or hurt, they keep away.” So says John Bradshaw, an anthrozoologist at Bristol University and author of “Cat Sense: How the New Feline Science Can Make You a Better Friend to Your Pet.”
There is no definitive answer as to how long your cat will do this. For many cats, minor misdemeanors seem to fall in the short-term memory category so it is likely all will be forgiven within a few hours to days. Kittens have a relatively short memory and can appear to be more forgiving than older cats.
Your cat may never become a constant companion by your side like a dog would be, but you should be able to both give and get some affection from your cat eventually. Until your cat is comfortable and happy, bonding will remain an issue.
Your cat loves you, he just might not be comfortable with regular petting or being held. Don't worry though, there are things you can do to entice your kitty to want more love, he just needs to get to know you better. The way to do this is do what he wants, not what you want.
It's simply still getting used to its new surroundings.
If you've just brought your kitten home from the breeder or shelter, it's quite normal for them to be skittish and afraid. With a bit of time and patience, they'll see that you're not a threat and also give them food and pet them and come to trust you.
For some kittens, this settling in period might be over within hours, while for others it could take days or even weeks. For very timid cats, the process could even take 4 to 6 weeks. Just rest assured that this is normal, and be patient.
Kitties who are warming up to you will rub against your feet or shoes, ankles or legs, or your outstretched hand. They are sharing scent with you and it's a sign that your efforts to befriend are working!
Why are cats shy or fearful? Shy or fearful behavior is most often caused by negative associations made in early life. If a cat doesn't interact with people often or experiences abuse or trauma, later, he or she may be afraid to trust human caretakers and become a skittish kitty.
Your cat wants alone time.
Cats are independent creatures and have their own emotions and moods. If your cat doesn't feel like getting scratched or coming for a treat, well, chances are, they're just simply going to ignore you and keep doing whatever it is they prefer to do, which may include napping.
Positive reinforcement, given consistently, can be a great way to build your cat's trust and communicate that she's done something good. It's also a great way to train your cat to do anything, including tricks… your kitty will appreciate the mental stimulation, and it will give you another great way to bond with her.
According to the kitten growth chart at Raising Happy Kittens, your kitty may become less affectionate during this time. But not to worry. Usually, cats start to mature and settle down after the eighteen-month mark, and by their second birthday your cat will have fully grown into their adult personality.
Of course while some cats get more affectionate as they age, this is not true for all cats and can depend on a number of different factors such as personality, environment, breed and more. Age also comes with physical effects that often cause cats to decrease activity and become less playful.
Hissing, growling, biting, slashing, or digging their nails into your skin are fairly clear indications that a cat is not happy with you. Of course, some cats do play a little rough, and most cats will give a love bite now and then, but if your cat bites you hard enough to break the skin, that is one pissed-off cat.
Cats, while often independent creatures, still crave attention and love, in addition to their obvious nutritional needs of fresh water, clean litter, and food. If you decide to bring a cat or kitten into your home, you should be prepared to spend at least 20 minutes a day giving your cat loving one-on-one attention.
Toys that can be chased, swatted, and batted should be provided. Species appropriate punishment such as “hissing” or the use of punishment devices such as a water sprayer, can of compressed air, or hand held alarm are better than using any physical techniques since they are less likely to lead to fear and retaliation.
Never Physically Reprimand a Cat
Similarly, yelling at your cat can stress them out and over-emphasize the attention to bad behavior.
While this behavior may be normal at first, if it doesn't subside within a few months, it may be time to take corrective action. Of course, aggressive behavior may come from a mother cat protecting her kittens. An animal in pain or one that feels threatened may also lash out.