Emotional affairs can begin online or in-person as a simple acquaintance or friendship. It can then evolve when boundaries are crossed and rationalized by the unfaithful partner. Over time, more limits are broken creating the opportunity for stronger intimacy to flourish.
Emotional affairs are often a result of feeling neglected, misunderstood or overlooked in a relationship. If a person believes that their partner does not value them, or does not have time for them, then they might strike up a friendship with a new person who offers more emotional investment and support.
Men tend to have emotional affairs because they've found someone who is relatable—this most commonly happens in the workplace. When a man begins to feel like he is not needed or grows tired of being with a woman who he deems unappreciative, controlling, or needy, he may begin to look elsewhere for advice.
People even will leave one relationship to begin a new relationship with their affair partner. Though, relationships that develop this way tend to end. This does not mean you should not take the presence of an emotional affair lightly as they can lead to the end of a marriage or committed relationship.
The period in which a couple feels “in love” during an affair normally lasts six-18 months, but sometimes spans as long as three years. All types of affairs can be very personal for everyone involved. They usually bring with them many kinds of emotions — both the good and the bad.
An emotional affair is very dangerous because it not only takes away time and energy from the marriage, but it can lead to sexual infidelity and possibly divorce. Another way of looking at emotional infidelity is that the betrayal is a symptom of the problems that already exist within a marriage.
But more and more social research confirms that men cheat for reasons relating to emotional validation. They seek affair partners who will make them feel like their feelings are worthwhile, that their stories are worth listening to, that they are masculine. Yes, hearing that they are good in bed doesn't hurt.
To build emotional attraction with a man, be an active listener, share personal experiences, and show affection using his love language. A man feels emotionally attracted to someone when he feels understood and loved for his true self, so don't be afraid to be vulnerable—it might encourage him to open up to you.
“Emotional attraction is being drawn to someone beyond what they physically look like,” says Charisse Cooke, a relationship psychotherapist. “There is chemistry between the two of you because you have great conversation, shared values, feel respected, and seem to fundamentally understand each other.”
Before the Cheating Occurs
Before someone cheats in a relationship, he or she becomes mentally detached from the relationship. This may happen consciously or subconsciously. The person may not be getting something out of the current relationship, so he or she seeks that missing element in someone else.
Micro cheating refers to acts of seemingly trivial, inappropriate behaviors that occur outside of one's devoted relationship, often done unintentionally.
“It's been said that 50 to 70% of all emotional affairs eventually lead to physical cheating and sex.”
The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy reports that 35% of women and 45% of men admit to having had an emotional affair before.
In short, an inappropriate emotional connection or attachment can be just as dangerous to a relationship as a physical affair. Emotional affairs can often be gateway affairs to other types of infidelity and are just as likely to lead to divorce or a breakup as physical affairs.
Do emotional affairs turn into love? It's not uncommon for emotional affairs at work to become a long term relationship. This is because the emotional affair is based on a lot of effort and time spent communicating with one another about feelings and ideas.
Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.
“Emotional intimacy could be defined as allowing yourself to connect more deeply with your partner through actions that express feelings, vulnerabilities and trust,” says Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist in New York City and faculty member in Columbia University's clinical psychology Ph. D.
* Think affairs happen during the evening, you'd be wrong. Married people are typically home with each other at night, if that suddenly changed it would raise too many red flags. The majority of married people will conduct their affairs in the morning, before work.
Why is emotional cheating worse than physical cheating? Considering that emotional attachment is what keeps a couple connected to each other in a long-term commitment, finding out that your partner shares that kind of bond with someone else, will obviously be more devastating.
While some believe that an emotional affair is harmless given that there is no sexual relationship, most marriage and relationship experts view it as a form of cheating. Emotional affairs can also act as gateway affairs, eventually leading to emotional and sexual infidelity.
Sometimes emotional affairs can also fizzle out. There is no guarantee that your emotional affair is going to be the love of your life. But unlike sexual relationships, emotional affairs are stronger and hence last much longer and have more serious consequences.
What Does It Mean To Mentally Cheat? Mentally cheating is thinking about cheating or being with someone else outside of your marriage or relationship. If you are in a relationship or married and there is someone you cannot stop thinking about who isn't your partner, it could be said that you are cheating.