Some of the most common weird things covert narcissists do to manipulate their victims include: hoovering, gaslighting, guilt-tripping, love bombing etc. This post will help you understand the covert narcissist better.
A covert narcissist lives with the need for admiration and validation, an unstable sense of self and self-importance, and emotional fragility. Their expression of these needs and vulnerability is more introverted and passive-aggressive than the typical or overt narcissist.
Emotionally Fragile & Hypersensitive
If someone criticizes their work, family, or personality, the covert narcissist will respond with an extreme emotional reaction. They could be overly sad and despondent from even a minor comment.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
The Covert Narcissist's Abusive Behaviors
These self-serving tactics can include gaslighting and distorting reality; manipulations to get what they want; showing contempt and giving the silent treatment; dominating and controlling their partner; and belittling and humiliating verbally and emotionally.
The introverted, covert narcissist may have a more gentle approach to explain why something is your fault and they are not to blame. They might even pretend to be a victim of your behavior or engage in emotional abuse to put themselves in a position to receive reassurance and praise from you.
Someone living with narcissistic personality disorder may tend to resent when others don't give them the status or importance they think they deserve. This may lead them to hold grudges for a long time. One of the ways covert narcissists may express this resentment is by using silent treatment.
Covert vs.
Covert narcissism is also known as shy, vulnerable, or closet narcissism. People with this subtype tend not to outwardly demonstrate arrogance or entitlement. Instead, they might put themselves down and seem anxious about what others think of them, rather than exuding charm or confidence.
They think they're superior to others, even if they're quiet about it. Covert narcissists can tend to be shy, but this shyness may come from a quiet sense of superiority, or "secret grandiosity," according to the American Journal of Psychiatry. It may also stem from their deep insecurity.
Overview. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.
MD. At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
"You're a bad person." "Nobody else will ever love you." "I'm the best you'll ever have." "Have fun being alone for the rest of your life."
A closet (or covert) narcissist is the type who does not want to be seen to be openly chasing the limelight, so they tend to choose victims who makes them look good by association. They'll usually go for successful people - those with high status who others admire.
While the "overt" narcissists tended to be aggressive, self-aggrandizing, exploitative, and have extreme delusions of grandeur and a need for attention, "covert" narcissists were more prone to feelings of neglect or belittlement, hypersensitivity, anxiety, and delusions of persecution.
Covert Narcissists
This less obvious type of narcissism is hidden behind shyness. Coverts are highly sensitive to criticism, prone to depression and anxiety, and love to share their woe-is-me tales with anyone who will listen. Coverts are very possessive of their friends, family, children, and partners.
There are several telltale signs of a covert narcissist. They are often overly critical, demoralizing, dismissive of your needs and feelings, and passive-aggressive. They are self-centered and lack emotional empathy.
There are plenty of tell-tale signs, like self-importance, a lack of empathy, a demanding personality and an excessive need for admiration.
Covert Narcissists tend to be quiet, and self-contained, often bestowing minimal attention on their spouses. Empathy is not an active feature of a Covert Narcissist Marriage. The Covert Narcissist Marriage dynamic will not allow room for a dialogue about their partner's thoughts and feelings.
Common methods include messing with the way you arrange your environment, insisting you did or said something else, and telling you you're abusive. My narcissist would corner me and force me to repeat details before laughing at me and saying, "Look at you, you're crazy."
The covert narcissist will sympathize with their scapegoat's sensitivity and hurt feelings in order to appear caring while targeting the victim with negative attention. This is a passive-aggressive strategy to gaslighting.
Differences Between Covert Narcissists and Overt Narcissists
People with overt narcissism tend to display a high level of self-esteem and extraversion, while those with covert narcissism tend to have a lower sense of self-esteem which may result in defensiveness, feelings of insecurity and self-consciousness.