“Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to trust someone again after they have cheated on you,” says Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick, a licensed psychotherapist. “Not all relationships can repair after infidelity, but there are many that do.”
The truth is you can rebuild trust after cheating in a relationship. While not easy to do, regaining your partner to trust in relationship after infidelity is possible, This rebuilding will require serious effort from both partners and a dedicated effort from the cheater to seek to fix things, but it isn't impossible.
"Although it can vary for each couple, a good benchmark [for how long it will take to rebuild the trust] is 1-2 years,” she explains. “An important milestone to hit is the one-year anniversary of finding out about the infidelity.
Experts say it's possible for couples to go on to have a happy relationship after infidelity, provided they're willing to put in the work. “The couple can survive and grow after an affair,” says Coleman.
The most important thing to remember is what cheating says about a person. They're insecure, impulsive, selfish, and immature. Sometimes, it's a chronic problem that likely won't ever be fixed, just be sure not to ignore the warning signs.
As a therapist, it's comforting to know that so many men do feel badly about infidelity, and that they want to make things right if they can. Their regret doesn't make their actions OK, of course, but it does provide hope for the long-term success of their relationships.
For instance, it's common to feel disappointed or betrayed after infidelity, so take a moment to recognize these feelings are normal. "In general, getting over infidelity follows the usual stages of grief: shock/denial; anger/defiance; bargaining; depression, remorse; and acceptance," explains Weiss.
Cheating doesn't mean your partner doesn't love you or respect you anymore. In fact, it's quite the contrary. If your partner cheats on you, it's because they're doing everything they can to keep the relationship intact while still fulfilling their needs (because everyone has needs, both emotional and sexual).
Many relationships are worth saving, despite infidelity, but the restoration of trust is paramount. Since partners will never be 100 percent in alignment, it's important to set realistic expectations.
How Many Couples Stay Together After an Affair? In one study, researchers found that with instances of secret infidelity, only about 20% of couples were still married after 5 years. However, for couples who revealed infidelity, that percentage jumped to 57%.
Statistics show that only 31% of marriages last after the affair has been discovered or admitted to. People who are unfaithful to their partners regret causing their loved one so much pain and heartache. Even if the couple decides to stay together, it's very hard for them to have a trust-based, happy relationship.
Yes, the psychological facts about cheating tell us that a cheating man can definitely change and be faithful. Often, you'll be able to tell what he truly wants by the way he reacts after infidelity.
A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.
The person who was cheated (sexually or emotionally) on may meet the criteria for PTSD and experience trauma-related symptoms such as rage, humiliation, intrusive images and flashbacks, preoccupation, emotional numbing, heightened anxiety to triggers, erratic behavior and sudden mood swings, and difficulty with sleep ...
Things that can trigger flashbacks include spending time with your partner who cheated, romantic sounds, love stories, not hearing from your partner and sometimes they can just come out of the blue when you least expect it. Being betrayed by a loved one can often be traumatic.
It's absolutely possible to heal from infidelity. Although the pain and grief can be intense, it's also possible to work on the relationship so that you and your partner are able to move on.
One of the most effective ways to treat a persistent fear of cheating is by doing exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy. NOCD has over 300 therapists who specialize in treating OCD, and we'll work to match you with someone skilled and experienced in treating Relationship OCD.
In the wake of the discovery of an affair, you are likely to experience a wide range of thoughts and feelings, ranging from numb (non-feeling) to feeling completely out of control and 'crazy'. This is the result of Post Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD).
Signs Your Partner Is Truly Remorseful
Not only do they apologize, and often, but they also openly express what they're apologizing for. They don't make vague statements or blanket apologies. They show their remorse by doing things that they feel will lessen your pain. It's about both words and actions.
Another truth: After the affair, men have varying levels of remorse and guilt about cheating, whether their partners know anything about their affairs or not. This begs the question: How do cheaters feel about themselves and what is the mindset of a cheating man?
Although infidelity in a relationship is often subjective, there are common signs that point to cheating behaviors in a boyfriend. These may include a change in mood, increased distraction, less importance placed on the relationship, or more time spent on devices, among others.