Codependency: BPD and codependency are interconnected. Children often feel overly responsible for their parents' emotions, and they may exhibit similar patterns in other relationships. Psychological instability: they may struggle with conditions like depression, anxiety, or substance use disorders.
Research shows that children whose parents exhibited BPD are prone to disorders such as ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder), depression, and anxiety. Studies of BPD in families show that the child of someone with BPD is likely to be diagnosed with BPD at some point in their life.
Children of mothers with BPD are also at heightened risk for exhibiting attention difficulties, aggressive behavior, and low self-esteem, in addition to major depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder itself.
Having a parent with borderline personality disorder can affect your own healthy development, as it can leave an unstable self-image and an inability to have a healthy intimate relationship with your own children and partner in the future. You don't need to spend your life catering to the needs of others.
There is also evidence to link BPD to other forms of child maltreatment, such as emotional and physical neglect.
People with borderline personality disorder can be very effective and nurturing parents, but because the symptoms of BPD can be very intense, for many people this does take some work.
Borderline personality disorder is one of the most painful mental illnesses since individuals struggling with this disorder are constantly trying to cope with volatile and overwhelming emotions.
Adolescent girls whose mothers have BPD often have difficulties with self-perception and social interactions, in addition to problematic mother-daughter relationships. Environmental and genetic factors contribute to problems in adolescence.
Many people with BPD also have gifts of being highly intuitive, passionate, empathic, and creative. Through healing, someone who has had BPD can still reach their potential as a uniquely gifted parent. However, not everyone has the support and resources they need to grow and heal.
Potential BPD Behaviors in Mothers
Mothers with Borderline Personality Disorders can impact the development of their children in a negative way when the disorder is left untreated or poorly managed. A mother with BPD may fluctuate between periods of being very intrusive to becoming very withdrawn.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
For example, in her book Understanding the Borderline Mother, Dr. Christine Lawson, describes four subtypes of mothers with BPD: the Waif (helpless), the Hermit (fearful/avoidant), the Queen (controlling) and the Witch (sadistic).
As a result, children of BPD parents tend to grow up feeling mistrustful of others. They have trouble with intimacy because they are constantly fearful that the other person will unpredictably turn on them. They may become very good at reading other people's feelings and attempting to predict what they want.
In fact, content analysis of DSM criteria by Geiger & Crick (2001) found five childhood indicators of BPD: hostile or paranoid worldview; impulsivity; intense, unstable or inappropriate emotion; excessively close relationships; and lack of sense of self.
The children of Narcissistic parents who develop personality disorders (and not all do) generally become either Narcissistic or Schizoid. A few develop Borderline Personality Disorder.
BPD is an issue of how one's brain is physically wired or formed, while bipolar disorder results from a chemical imbalance in neurotransmitters.
Low-Functioning BPD Mothers
Waifs feel helpless but reject attempts by family members to help them. In this way, they passively control others and are generally unable to nurture others.
Parents with BPD may physically, emotionally, or sexually abuse their children. Neglect is also highly pervasive, and children often feel unsafe in their own homes. Complex trauma, or repeated and compounded childhood trauma, is a key risk factor for complex PTSD.
Talk to a therapist or other mental health professional for individual help. Set and reinforce boundaries with your borderline parent. Keep a journal to write your thoughts and feelings, especially after an upsetting interaction. Be aware of triggers (both yours and your parent's) and do your best to avoid them.
So even though BPD is a disability, the SSA may be more likely to approve your claim if you have another qualifying condition. For example, many people with BPD also struggle with anxiety, complex PTSD, or depression, all of which can also qualify for disability.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is one of the most damaging mental illnesses. By itself, this severe mental illness accounts for up to 10 percent of patients in psychiatric care and 20 percent of those who have to be hospitalized.
The effects of untreated borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be devastating. For example, the physical and mental health impact of this disorder is so severe that life expectancy among people who have BPD is about 20 years less than the national average.
Fear of Patients Lashing Out. Individuals with symptoms of BPD are particularly sensitive to perceived criticism. This increases the likelihood that they will feel attacked when a therapist attempts to offer suggestions or insights. This often leads to lashing out.