The silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where a toxic narcissist will stop talking to you for days, hours, weeks, or even months to punish you for some perceived slight. It can cause severe emotional and psychological damage if you don't realize what is happening.
Essentially, the narcissistic person's message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target so insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the narcissistic person.
Does ignoring a narcissist work? First of all, narcissists hate being ignored, so ignoring them may be the best form of revenge. But, it should not be your primary motivation. The most essential thing here is to be mature enough to let go of toxic individuals in your life, no matter how difficult it is.
If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.
Of course, ignoring a narcissist fuels immense rage. Even if they think they are being ignored (like you're taking too long to respond to a text), they start feeling anxious. After all, they believe they're entitled to whatever they want whenever they want it.
By Darius Cikanavicius on March 12, 2020. If you have ever interacted with a person who exhibits strong narcissistic or other dark personality traits, you have likely experienced what is known as the silent treatment.
No contact will come easier as the end result of a gentle phasing out of the relationship rather than a direct rejection, which ultimately has more negative consequences than one would expect. Narcissists don't handle rejection or no contact very well at all. Narcissists hate being ignored. It's their worst fear.
The narcissist can go for weeks without speaking to you, with the implication being that you need them more than they need you. You will be the one to beg for forgiveness and acquiesce to their demands. Sometimes the silent treatment never ends.
Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That's not what you want or need in a relationship. Explain that you can't resolve issues this way, then be specific about those issues. If this sort of behavior is a relationship deal-breaker for you, state it plainly.
More often, the narcissist will go silent for some period of time, and then return as if nothing happened. They may have found a new source of supply but had a falling out with them and now they need something from you. Your best bet is to ignore them the way they ignored you earlier.
The silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks or months. Some people do this because they are genuinely hurt and unable to speak. When they do feel able to talk, it'll be a two-way conversation. A narcissist uses the silent treatment to punish you.
Most narcissists will view being blocked as an act of aggression. A blocked narcissist won't have any ability to silence or control you, which is very important for them. This is highly likely to be an overwhelming and scary feeling for them.
Ignoring you is one of these tactics. They want a narcissistic supply by you chasing them, asking for forgiveness, and being upset about their behavior. Your reaction to being ignored brings them pleasure. These are all forms of narcissistic supply and feeling this way is why a narcissist ignores you.
Put simply, they ignore you to regain control. The narcissist uses ignoring you as a way to punish for some wrongdoing you committed. They don't feel the need to tell you what the wrongdoing was, they just jump into ignoring you as quick as possible to protect themselves from further narcissistic injury.
Whatever the reasons for starting the relationship, it will eventually end. Narcissists tire of their victims when they've exhausted their supply of care, money, or whatever else they were after. As quickly as they entered your life, they leave it, which can leave the victim incredibly confused, broken, and lost.
No contact with narcissists often puts them in a spiral of toxic behavior. They will resort to love bombing, begging, self-victimization and other toxic methods to gain back your attention. In other cases, they may just disregard you and find someone else.
According to Dr. Darlene Lancer, many narcissists can only sustain a relationship for six months to a few years (at the most). Keep in mind, though, we're talking about one four-stage cycle.
Bore them with the “gray rock” treatment.
Narcissists only keep people around to use them or to entertain themselves. If you don't have anything to offer them, they'll get puzzled and leave you alone. Don't show any physical expression, respond in as few words as possible, and be as boring and unhelpful as you can be.
Silent treatment vs silent discard
People with narcissistic tendencies tend to see others as objects to meet their needs and will discard them when it is no longer met or the person adds no value. Their pattern of relationship is to idealise, devalue and then discard. The silent treatment is a temporary discard.