The residual anger, hurt, confusion, depression, and even self-blame don't just disappear once a divorce is finalized. Even if you're the one who pushed for it, divorce still creates all sorts of emotional pain, so don't be surprised if you're still feeling the pain of divorce and struggling to move on in your life.
However, the pain can and does go away, and it does not have to take a year for every five you were married. Getting on the other side of the pain may take a couple years—the standard estimate—but chances are excellent that it's not going to fall neatly into a formula. It could take less.
Individuals may go through several stages of mourning or grief. The emotional intensity of this period usually reaches a peak within the first six months of separation. However, the grieving process may take as long as two years.
“But the chaos won't last forever.” t usually takes about two years after a divorce to feel normal again, Stark says. During those 24 months, there are ways that help women heal, including talking out feelings, taking classes and even dating again.
Even when a relationship is no longer good, a divorce or breakup can be extremely painful because it represents the loss, not just of the partnership, but also of the dreams and commitments you shared. Romantic relationships begin on a high note of excitement and hopes for the future.
Regret is actually part of the bargaining stage, where you negotiate how you will be different in order to save the relationship. Nonetheless, grieving itself does not mean that the person regrets their decision, it just means that they are going through the process of letting go.
Divorce puts a strain on the financial, social, and emotional relationships of the partners. This time particularly can be devastating for women who may lose confidence, be forced into custody issues, and may lose hope of ever finding happiness again. Some women find it hard to return to their normal self again.
Many people consider the separation phase to be the most difficult. This is the time between when you decide to get divorced and the date you actually get divorced. This period often presents the most uncertainties about child support, visitation, alimony, division of assets, and more.
Perhaps the most difficult period of divorce is the “separation period.” That is the time between when you decide to get a divorce, and the date when you are actually divorced.
Research indicates life after divorce for men is more traumatic than it is for women, taking a more significant emotional toll as well as sparking physical deterioration.
A study showed that unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery. Divorce or separation is likely the best outcome in a destructive marriage.
Experiencing some or all of the stages of grief post-divorce is a totally normal reaction to this painful experience. The end of a relationship can bring up feelings of loss, loneliness, and heartache, even if you were fully on board with the divorce.
A study by Kingston University in the UK found that despite the negative financial impact of divorce on women, they are generally happier than men after divorce.
Emotional and Psychological Effects of Divorce on Women
Women tend to have a higher frequency of identity problems during and after a divorce. Many women are focused on being superb mothers and wives during the marriage then face the sudden loss of the second self-identity.
On average a woman can expect an almost 30% decline in her standard of living following divorce, while men often see an increase of 10%." On average a woman can expect an almost 30% decline in her standard of living following divorce, while men often see an increase of 10%."
Shame is one of the most toxic emotions associated with divorce. And people feel it for all sorts of reasons. Some people feel shame for “failing” at their marriages or putting on a brave face for too long. Others feel shame for being unfaithful, or for having a partner that was unfaithful to them.
The recent Annual Relationship, Marriage, and Divorce Survey conducted by Avvo online marketplace for legal services found that men are more likely to regret breaking up than women. Of the 254 divorced women surveyed, only 27% said they regretted their divorce.
For some, the regret may creep in immediately, while it can take years for others to realize they regret their decision to get divorced. It's important to understand if you regret your divorce because you miss your partner versus the divorce process has taken longer and has been more emotionally draining than expected.
Experiencing some or all of the stages of grief post-divorce is a totally normal reaction to this painful experience. The end of a relationship can bring up feelings of loss, loneliness, and heartache, even if you were fully on board with the divorce.