Losing a pet can be a traumatic experience for any child. Many kids love their pets very deeply and some may not even remember a time in their life when the pet wasn't around. A child may feel angry and blame themselves—or you—for the pet's death.
However, the loss of that companion can be devastating and traumatic. Humans develop a lasting attachment with their pets, which breaks at the loss of the pet. Regardless of the manner of death, a pet owner may perceive the death as traumatic and experience distress or exhibit posttraumatic stress symptoms.
Seventy-five responders reported the loss of a pet and filled out a battery of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I've often written about PTSD; it's defined as the recurring memories and heightened state of arousal that lingers for more than a month after a traumatic event.
Cats, dogs, horses and other cherished pets provide companionship, reduce loneliness and depression, and can ease anxiety. They support our emotional well-being and imbue our actions with meaning. This is why, in addition to emotional pain, we feel aimless and lost in the days and weeks after our pet dies.
The grief associated with losing an animal is a type of disenfranchised grief, one that is not acknowledged broadly; a grief that is too often borne in silence. But the depth of a relationship between a family and their pet is deep and complex; animals become part of the fabric of our lives.
Pet Loss and Mental Health
Some people experience mental symptoms of grief, which may include confusion, trouble focusing, constant dwelling on your pet, or thinking you see or hear your pet. Loss of an animal companion can also lead to anxiety and depression for some people.
A small 2019 study of 82 people found that the length of intense grief experienced by bereaved pet owners varies —with 25 % taking between 3 months to a year, 50% between one year and 19 months, and 25 % between two and six years.
Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it's important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold. Feeling sad, shocked, or lonely is a normal reaction to the loss of a beloved pet.
The grief that comes with losing a beloved pet can be all-consuming. In fact, the pain can actually manifest with physical symptoms that mimic a heart attack.
And yet the death of a family pet can remind us of how vulnerable, precarious and precious life is. It's that process of acceptance and letting go that builds the resilience necessary to navigate an array of life's obstacles. We hone an ability to adapt to the evanescence of our lives with grace and hope.
A 2002 article in the journal Society & Animals that reviewed multiple studies found that the death of a companion animal can be “just as devastating as the loss of a human significant other,” not quite as severe, “far more intense” or, well, just about the same.
Most people who lose a dog will be quick to tell you that it's just like losing a child. But it's much more complicated than that. First of all, most parents will go through life without ever losing a child. When they do, they will be quick to tell you it's not supposed to be that way!
In fact, sometimes that loss can feel as bad—or even worse—than the loss of a human friend or relative. That's not just anecdotal, either: Research has confirmed that for most people, the loss of a dog is comparable to the loss of a human loved one, in almost every way.
The time to obtain a new pet is when you have worked through your grief sufficiently to be confident that you can look forward to new relationships, rather than backward at your loss. For some people, that might be a matter of days or weeks; for others, it might be months or years.
It's also common for bereaved people to experience temporary digestive problems such as constipation, diarrhoea, stomach pain, feeling nauseated or a horrible empty feeling in the stomach. Be gentle with yourself.
Many times, I've had friends guiltily confide to me that they grieved more over the loss of a dog than over the loss of friends or relatives. Research has confirmed that for most people, the loss of a dog is, in almost every way, comparable to the loss of a human loved one.
Simply petting a dog can decrease levels of stress hormones, regulate breathing, and lower blood pressure. Research also has shown that petting releases oxytocin, a hormone associated with bonding and affection, in both the dog and the human.
Sometimes a reincarnated pet will look remarkably like its previous self, and sometimes not. They will show some kind of evidence, however, that confirms that sense of "knowing." For instance, they'll settle in unusually fast, have similar habits or other behavioral clues.
The scriptures I use make it clear that animals not only go to heaven when they die, but they will also be resurrected with us. However, they will have a much lesser glory than the sons of God. 1Corinthians 15:39-42 and Romans 8:19-23.
The Rainbow Bridge (as beautifully encapsulated in a poem of the same name - see below) is a mythological place to which cats (and other pets) go upon their death, eventually to be reunited with their carers.
You can choose to take your cat back home to bury, perhaps in a favourite spot in the garden, or you can opt for a pet cemetery. If you decide on a burial at home, you will need to check with your local authority that this is permissible.