Unfortunately, narcissists are unable to put the happiness of anyone else ahead of their own. Nor can they offer unconditional love to another due to their obsession with status and achievement. One of the narcissistic traits that makes it so hard for narcissists to love another is their lack of empathy.
Narcissists can and do love, but their love tends to be superficial and fleeting. They can develop intense emotional attachments—even appearing to "fall in love"—and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection.
Narcissists are misogynists. They hold women in contempt, they loathe and fear them. They seek to torment and frustrate them (either by debasing them sexually – or by withholding sex from them). They harbor ambiguous feelings towards the sexual act.
Can a narcissist have a happy marriage? Unfortunately, the answer is almost always “no.” The photos and the couple's public behavior show one thing, while something much less appealing is going on behind the scenes.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
New research examines the link between narcissism and respecting one's partner. Narcissists who inflate their own self-view by enjoying others' failures tend not to give their partners enough respect. Not all narcissistic self-inflation strategies are associated with less respect for a partner.
Studies show that narcissists are more likely to get divorced than people who do not have a narcissistic personality disorder. However, if you can handle the challenges of being married to a narcissist and can find ways to make your relationship work, you may have a very happy marriage.
Some people get married to narcissists and stay with them for years, while others leave or are left after a few weeks or months. As long as the narcissist is getting their needs met by their partner or the partner does not find a way to leave, the relationship will continue.
In fact, research has shown that nearly 60% of all marriages to narcissists – male or female – end in divorce. So, what's the reason for this high rate of divorce involving this one personality type?
Sometimes, the narcissist doesn't mean to hurt you. Being sensitive to everything is just how their brains work. And if they are — by their own logic — being attacked, they will bite back even harder. However, by their nature, they may also want to hurt you too, because it makes them feel superior.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
They are low on emotional empathy.
Without emotional empathy, you have less motivation to pay attention to the pain that your words and actions cause a partner. Narcissists can have “intellectual empathy” without emotional empathy.
Narcissists may show you love and act in loving ways, but this tends to be conditional, in that displays of love depend on what you can give them in return. For people with NPD, relationships tend to be transactional. Love is not self-serving, proud, boastful, exploitative, or envious.
It's possible for a narcissist to be faithful in a relationship, but unlikely. Narcissists tend to prioritize their own needs and desires over their partner's and have few qualms about engaging in infidelity if it serves their own interests.
In fact, the love language of the narcissist is to get you to do all the work of the relationship. They feel “loved” when you are proving your love and loyalty. They believe you are invested into the relationship when you invest more into them than you invest in you.
Divorce can shine a bright light on all a narcissist's worst traits. It exposes their marriage relationship as flawed, and usually involves public criticism, if only in front of a judge or mediator. Finding out you want a divorce can also make a narcissist feel like they have failed, which could cause them to lash out.
Narcissists will often break up with their partners after they have become hooked on the constant praise and the feeling of being wanted. Narcissism is a personality disorder that has been linked to various mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and social difficulties.
Start a Fight To End a Relationship
Narcissists love conflict when they're in control of it. At the end of a relationship when they've grown tired, they'll find the most dramatic way to end it. Often they'll use the fight to force your hand into breaking up with them.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
Someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) will exhibit a lack of empathy for others, an excessive need for attention, an inflated sense of importance, and have troubled relationships.
They WILL move on quickly because narcissists tend to view other people (including their partners) as conveniences — and once you are no longer useful, they will move on.
Narcissists might have "grandiose" delusions about their own importance and an absence of "shame" - but psychologists say they are also likely to be happier than most people.
You can use strategies to make life easier, such as practicing self-care, setting healthy boundaries, and reminding yourself that you aren't to blame for any of these narcissistic husband traits. Ultimately, your partner will likely need to seek counseling to make any lasting changes to his behavior.
One of the key traits of narcissistic partners is manipulation. They may make subtle threats or make you feel responsible for everything that goes wrong. You may get a sense that you need to do what they want you to do or something bad will happen.