Malignant narcissists display little to no empathy, and they often lie and abuse not just to gain control, but because they enjoy it.
When the NPD lies, he or she is trying to make themselves appear dominant. They lie for self-gain believing that telling mistruths makes them look smarter than the other person. Having a victim at their side who they can lie to provides them with a constant narcissistic supply, someone that fuels their sickness.
Narcissists can look people straight in the eye while shamelessly lying to them. In doing so, they do not make a face, even when confronted with probing questions and evidence of previous deceptions. It is normal for them to deny lies, make excuses, and project their behavior onto others.
Pathological lying, or excessive and compulsive lying not caused by external factors, is a common symptom among individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Narcissists often use lying as a tool for manipulation and to maintain a false image of themselves.
Gaslighting and narcissism often go hand in hand, and saying “I love you” is a great way of downplaying some of the horrendous behaviour you've been subjected to. Adding a “but” makes this an even more effective gaslighting tool.
Confront their lies to break down their defenses.
If you've tried to be kind and diplomatic but the narcissist still won't tell the truth, admit that you think they're lying. Just make one simple critique. As soon as you say you doubt the narcissist's account, they're more likely to melt down and become illogical.
The best way to know if a narcissist loves you is by looking at their behavior over time rather than just relying on words or expressions of affection. If they are consistently putting your needs first, even when it doesn't directly benefit them, then it may be possible that they truly care for you.
A narcissistic liar is a person who lies to get what they want. They are often charming and persuasive. But their primary goal is always self-promotion. They want to present themselves in a certain light and believe they can get away with it.
Calling out the narcissist really has no benefit. They won't start to acknowledge their wrongs and make efforts to change. By calling them out, you just open yourself up to more abuse from the narcissist. This might be hard to hear because this means you are left with no way to be heard for how you are being treated.
Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.
Dishonesty, lying, and secrecy are almost always present in any form of infidelity, and narcissists are masters of deceit. Your narcissistic partner likely used their charming persona to draw you in, but they know this façade can fall apart at any given moment.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
Do all Narcissists Cheat? Not all narcissists are cheaters, but having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) does make them more likely than the ordinary person to be unfaithful to their partner (8). Similarly, you can't say that all cheaters are narcissists.
It is easy to be tricked by the covert narcissist because unlike the classic narcissist that many of us have learned to recognize with their charm, flash, attention-seeking ostentatious presentation, the covert narcissist is stealth. These people tend to be more introverted and subtle, so they can be easy to miss.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
Narcissists tend to be incapable of something called "object constancy," which means they struggle to have positive feelings at the same time as negative ones. Once they are fired up for a fight, they can be incredibly cruel, because all they can comprehend in the moment are feelings of resentment and anger.
A narcissistic spouse is typically manipulative, self-centered, difficult to feel connected to, and may be verbally aggressive or abusive.
Narcissists tend to communicate differently than other people. Their words are often used as tools or weapons. Their language often disguises their true intent. This can make listening to narcissists more difficult and less straightforward than communicating with most other people.
The narcissist chooses to marry the person they believe they can have the most control over. This isn't meant to victim blame and to say the partner or spouse has done anything wrong. The narcissist knows that other people are caring and want to please, so they look for people that have these qualities.