You might be wondering: is a break a breakup? The short answer is no, a relationship break doesn't mean you and your partner have called it quits. Taking a break in a relationship means you've agreed to press pause to gain some clarity and reassess what the relationship means to both you and your partner.
In the most fundamental sense, taking a break means that you and your partner haven't officially broken up, but you've decided to take some time off from each other and your relationship. It's also key to keep in mind that taking a break doesn't have to equal a breakup.
A break in a relationship is entirely different. People sometimes take breaks in relationships because the relationship isn't going well, or because one of the parties has become romantically interested in someone else. Further, a break is often limited to a specified period of time—two weeks or a month, for example.
Any behavior that is different from what has been mutually agreed upon can be considered cheating when you are on a break. And, any actions that violate your partner's trust can also be considered cheating. Whether you're trying to move on or rebuild a relationship, a licensed therapist from BetterHelp can guide you.
Here's the deal: You basically want a break to end before it becomes a full breakup. "A break could be any length of time, but past a point, it becomes a 'breakup,'" says Dr. Steinberg. "If you don't want it to be considered a 'breakup,' then the break shouldn't be more than a season, or three months long."
So, what does “taking a break” mean? A break is like putting a bookmark in the relationship, so you can temporarily take a step back and reassess what the partnership means to both of you. “What differentiates a relationship break from a true breakup is that you usually have intentions of getting back together.
Don't: Communicate During a Break
And that includes taking a break in communication. When you suddenly find yourself without someone who has taken up a big part of your life, it's natural to feel a void. And in turn, it's natural to keep going back to this person. But you need this break to clear your mind and reflect.
There are no rules for breaks. Some people date while they're on them, some people don't.
If you need a "break" to "figure out" your feelings, chances are your feelings are not that strong. There's a difference between "breaking up" and "a break." "A break" indicates the relationship is off temporarily, with the possibility of getting back together.
Is it okay to sleep with someone else while on a break from a relationship? Anything is technically ok between any two people as long as they both agree. However, the main thing you'll need to understand is what has been agreed to. How would you feel about him sleeping with other women?
Taking a break in a relationship doesn't have to be a precursor to a breakup, but only if you set clear objectives for the time you spend apart, and both commit to improving the relationship. Other times, yes, a break can lead to a permanent break up, if that's what you and your partner decide what's best for you.
Many relationships can recover from taking a break and actually turn out to be stronger than before, but that is not always the case. If you and your partner are unable to set clear boundaries and rules in the beginning, or are unable to stick to those things during the break, then your relationship might not make it.
The results showed just 15% of people actually won their ex back, while 14% got back together just to break up again, and 70% never reconnected at all. But although it sounds like a small number, a few success stories showed how it is possible to work things out if you put the time and effort in.
"If you don't want it to be considered a 'breakup,' then the break shouldn't be more than a season, or three months long," relationship therapist Laurel Steinberg told Well+Good. Edwards counters that one week to a month should be sufficient.
Taking a relationship break may feel scary, but it can be really helpful for your relationship in the long run. To have a successful, healthy break, it's important for you and your partner to communicate clearly with one another and use that time to reflect and consider your vision for the future.
Things You Should Know
On average, it takes men about 8 weeks to miss their ex after a breakup. This can vary depending on the length and intensity of the relationship. You can tell he misses you if he texts or calls frequently, talks to other people about you, and invites you out to do things with him.
Don't text them first
This includes texting when you specify you don't want communication during a relationship break. Even if your mate texts you, this doesn't mean that you have to text back, especially if you agreed upon the break rules beforehand. Both of you should respect the stipulations enough to follow them.
Set a reasonable time frame
Six months is a break up, not a break, the experts say. Anything from one week to a month should be enough time for one or both parties to determine whether they should stay together.
Breaks in relationships usually last anywhere between a week or a month and can even extend if both partners feel it's necessary. However, if it lasts an unusually long amount of time like 3–4 months, it's more likely that's a breakup than a break.
Dr. Ford suggests that while breaks can sometimes be a risky move, they can sometimes be the right step for a relationship. The key is to make sure that you are taking a break for the right reasons, establish clear ground rules, and use the time wisely to gain clarity.
Take time, significant time. While there is no “magic number” for how long to wait before beginning a new relationship, think in terms of months rather than weeks. Some experts suggest that you should wait a month for every year that you were in the relationship before jumping back into another one.
Letting enough time go by that your ex gets over you does exist. This is why we do not want you to sit on your butt and wait for them to text you even after a no contact rule. We encourage you to take control and text them first after the no contact rule.
Consider keeping your texts and other communication clear, simple, and focused on setting dates and times for further discussion, if desired. Also, consider telling a funny story about some positive memories and keeping things light and friendly. Try not to text or call if your ex is starting a new relationship.
Only do it for the right reasons: Comrie says that taking a break works when you know you still want to be together, but are faced with temporary circumstances that are best faced apart. It has to be a reason that taking a break might actually help you overcome. Don't take a break if you really want to break up.
Taking a break—or taking a time-out from your relationship without actually breaking up—can give you both the space you need to decide what your future should look like.