People with BPD have a lot of difficulty in relationships, but that doesn't mean they're incapable of love. Unstable emotions often lead to unstable relationships, while black-and-white thinking may make a person with BPD push people away when there is evidence their partner has flaws.
Deep passion. People with BPD strongly desire a deep connection with those around them. This is partly because of their fear of abandonment but because they simply love people and crave deep connections.
Key points. People with BPD often have intense emotions and impulsive behaviors. People with BPD may blame other people for their behaviors and emotions. A person with BPD can be in a loving relationship if certain adjustments are made.
Many people with BPD want to love, badly. And perhaps they want to be loved, equally as bad. they may go insofar as attaching their own identity to the identity of their partner, that's how deep they can feel. Still, most people with BPD do have heart, and have the ability to feel intensely.
The effects of BPD in intimate relationships. People affected by BPD often have highly unstable intimate relationships. Usually of above average intelligence, they tend to fall in love easily, sometimes without getting to know the person.
People with BPD feel firmly attached to their favorite person and may depend on them for comfort, reassurance, and guidance. In many cases, someone with BPD may rely entirely on their favorite person. As a result, they may idealize them and expect them to always be available.
People with BPD often have intense emotions and impulsive behaviors. People with BPD may blame other people for their behaviors and emotions. A person with BPD can be in a loving relationship if certain adjustments are made.
Roberts highlights the fact that this condition often, “results from not receiving validation of their emotional experiences by caregivers.” In reaction to this, a person with BPD may conjure a close connection with a favorite person who becomes the object of their attention, adoration, and sometimes even indifference.
A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
The truth is that if you are attracted to someone who has borderline personality disorder there is a chance you have several issues of your own. Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem.
Most people with BPD struggle with low self-esteem. To cope with their feelings, they seek validation from others. They may have legitimate feelings for you and believe that exaggerated displays of affection are the best way to keep you close.
With the proper treatment and support, people with BPD can and do have healthy and happy relationships. Setting realistic and practical goals for improvement is central to making your relationship work.
Many people with BPD have a strong desire to be close to others. However, fear of abandonment or a skewed sense of self may cause them to act impulsively or aggressively in an effort to keep loved ones close to them.
Fear of Abandonment
Physical touch can be interpreted as a sign of intimacy and closeness. For someone with BPD, who struggles with a fear of abandonment, touch might stir up feelings of vulnerability and fear, leading to avoiding physical contact.
A fear of abandonment is central to BPD. That can present obvious problems in a relationship, especially when you're just getting to know someone and have no idea where things are heading. Unfortunately, intense fear can lead to your partner being clingy or making unreasonable demands on your time.
If one of your loved ones has symptoms of BPD you probably often think to yourself, “how can they act this way or speak this way towards me if they care about my feelings?” And you are right; they can't care about your feelings if they don't understand what you feel.
Myth #5: People with BPD are unsuitable for intimate relationships. Fact: People with BPD have many positive things to contribute to fulfilling relationships. When trust and love has developed within a relationship, people with BPD can show high loyalty and trustworthiness.
Emotional detachment is a common core feature of quiet BPD. Instead of feeling everything intensely, they may feel nothing at all. Emotional detachment in quiet BPD is often linked to structural dissociation, specifically due to the creation of a persona that is unfeeling.
Borderline personality disorder can impact relationships.
“Relationships with an untreated BPD individual can feel exhausting, a never-ending process of putting out fires,” says Gilbert. Sometimes those with BPD are aware of how their symptoms can be destructive to relationships.
People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground.
Ending a relationship can be difficult and challenging for anyone, but it can be especially difficult for individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) to move through a break up.
Impulsive Behaviors: People with BPD may engage in impulsive behaviors, such as reckless driving, engaging in unsafe sexual behavior, stealing, binge eating, or using drugs and alcohol. Self-Harm Or Suicidal Behavior: Self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and suicidal behaviors may be other symptoms in people with BPD.
…these are red flag behaviors of: fear of abandonment, inappropriate or intense anger, impulsivity, patterns of unstable/intense relationships, and emotional dysregulation.