Kids with ADHD have friendship trouble for all sorts of reasons. Some simply aren't good listeners. Others drive away potential friends by their impulsivity — blurting out unkind comments, for example.
If you have ADHD, you might find it hard to date, make friends, or parent. That's partly because good relationships require you to be aware of other people's thoughts and feelings. But ADHD can make it hard for you to pay attention or react the right way.
Researchers have found that the social challenges of children with ADHD include disturbed relationships with their peers, difficulty making and keeping friends, and deficiencies in appropriate social behavior.
This is especially true for people with ADHD, whose dopamine-deprived brains are in constant need of stimulation. The beginning stages of a relationship can feel euphoric, and — for some — meet a need for novelty and excitement. But on the other hand, ADHD brains become bored quite easily.
Making friends can be particularly difficult for girls with ADHD. Hyperactive and impulsive girls sometimes have trouble taking turns or not getting their way. They might be too loud and aggressive, or just seem immature to other girls their age.
The problem: The social maturity of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) may be a few years behind that of their peers. In addition, they have difficulty reading verbal and physical social cues, misinterpreting remarks, or not getting jokes or games.
Feeling Overwhelmed
You might have a lot of other things going on, and you find it difficult to pay attention to your friends and keep the commitments you make to them at the same time. Over time, your friends might become frustrated. They might think you don't care or that they are simply unimportant to you.
It's a common ADHD experience that I call 'involuntary ghosting' - a phenomenon that describes the disappearing act that happens when ADHDers forget to respond to texts.
If you have ADHD, you might have greater “postural sway,” meaning your body sways more to stay balanced. Whether you're standing or sitting, your body is always seeking balance. Even without your conscious effort, your muscles and sensory system constantly work to keep you from falling over.
Staying connected with others is the most important life line any of us has. And yet, as naturally inclined to connect as most people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are, their shame and negativity can grow so intense as to lead them to cut themselves off.
ADHD may result in some symptoms that can make a person “socially clumsy.” If you often find yourself saying and doing inappropriate things during conversations, you might be experiencing social awkwardness.
Common ADHD-Related Problems
Being late or not following through on commitments, appointments, or responsibilities. Impulsive spending or overspending. Starting fights or arguing. Trouble maintaining friendships and romantic relationships.
Adults with ADHD tend to do or say things without thinking. They might blurt out something insensitive, or make a big purchase without looking at their finances or having a discussion with you first. Their impulsive tendencies can often lead to reckless, even destructive actions.
It's not an exaggeration to say that ADHD worsens and prolongs the pain of a breakup, even leading to depression and low self-esteem. Getting over a breakup is way more difficult for us than it is for most neurotypical people.
Sometimes, being argumentative or even saying mean things can stem from an inability to slow down and recognize how other people are reacting or feeling. This again falls into impulsivity and hyperactivity. But if you were to call out someone with ADHD as rude, they may respond by being defensive.
Mood swings are common in people with ADHD. People with this disorder can be hypersensitive, too. That means sensations, like touch, that may feel normal to another person can feel too intense for someone with ADHD.
People with ADHD are exquisitely sensitive to rejection and criticism. They can experience hopelessness and demoralization because they try to succeed by imitating the paths to success of people without ADHD, and then fail over and over again because the same paths don't work for them.
One of the many ADHD traits that gets misread as a sign of rudeness is the habit of interrupting people in conversations, usually with a thought that seems completely unrelated to the topic. When someone gets cut off, they often think it means you weren't really listening or you don't care what they have to say.
ADHD is not the kiss of death. The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
Hyperfocus, or intense interest, is on one extreme, but still tied to the dopamine deficiencies that also contribute to inattention. ADHD is often missed in adults who hyperfocus more than they struggle with inattention.
However, it can also lead to potential misinterpretation of symptoms. Take, for example, ADHD. While most people associate ADHD with hyperactivity and impulsivity, it can also manifest in more subtle ways, such as through intrusive thoughts and overthinking.
When relationships reach a dreadful stage of being “boring” or “stagnant”, they can become frail. Adults with ADHD can easily lose interest in things that are done in the same old way. Look for new and different ways to bring fun into your relationship, keeping things fresh and anew.
Many people with ADHD have difficulty focusing. A person may quickly lose sight of how frequently he pays attention to his partner and the things that matters to the partner. In turn, this can cause the new partner to feel uncared for or ignored. ADHD impacts a person's ability to focus, or remember commitments.