Divorce and ADHD. Estimates vary, but some studies suggest that the divorce rate among couples touched by ADHD is as much as twice that of the general population.
Those with ADHD are also more prone to impulsive behaviors such as drug use, gambling, or infidelity —all of which clearly cause marital conflict. Research indicates that your marriage is far more likely to survive if you seek diagnosis and treatment.
For those of us with ADHD, traits like rejection sensitive dysphoria, big feelings, and obsessive thinking prolong and worsen the pain of a breakup. After a heavy dose of heartache, I'm here to share my tips for moving on. Breakups cut deep in the ADHD heart.
ADHD can be a contributing factor in a wide range of marital problems. If your partner has ADD, you may feel ignored and lonely. Your partner can focus on things that interest them, but not on you. They never seem to follow through on what they agree to do.
Due to differences in the ADHD brain, you can shift focus even more quickly, causing you to seem to lose interest in your partner or your relationship suddenly. During the early stages of a relationship, the partner affected by ADHD can focus intensely on the romance and the new partner.
ADHD is not the kiss of death. The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
If you have ADHD, you might find it hard to date, make friends, or parent. That's partly because good relationships require you to be aware of other people's thoughts and feelings. But ADHD can make it hard for you to pay attention or react the right way.
It's true: Attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) has strained more than a few romantic relationships. Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet.
Basically, all of the symptoms of ADHD are going to be 100 times worse during the divorce process. If there are custody issues at hand, the stress could be even greater, as could the impact of the condition on the outcome.
Lack of consistency. Toxic communication — such as contempt, criticism, and sarcasm. Controlling behavior and distrust. Abusive — this is also inclusive of emotionally abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting, love bombing, breadcrumbing etc.
ADHD brains crave stimulation, and they just might chase relationship drama to get it. Next time you catch yourself (or your partner) falling into these common traps — outlined here by Dr. Daniel Amen — take a step back and re-evaluate.
Kids with ADHD often feel emotions more deeply than other kids do. When teens with ADHD fall in love, the feelings of joy and excitement can be even more intense for them. Teens might feel a deep sense of intimacy and acceptance, perhaps for the first time.
The impact of adult ADHD on marriages can be terrible for couples with one or more partners with the condition. Research suggests that the marital “maladjustment” rate may be close to 60%. Statistics on the divorce rate for those with ADHD vary, seemingly depending upon the age of the respondents in the study.
But, the findings are consistent with ADHD-informed approaches to taking breaks. As Barkley tells us, “…you need to take 10 minute breaks very often. Indeed more often you need to break tasks down and take frequent breaks.…
An ADHD brain ? processes thoughts differently.
So, when we're in the middle of a conflict, it can be hard to keep calm and think straight. We can feel extreme guilt, anger, sadness, or anxiety, and it can be hard to manage everything we're feeling.
Anxiety Disorders and ADHD
The pediatric anxiety disorder triad — which includes generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and separation anxiety disorder — is particularly common among children with ADHD.
Distractibility, Hyperactivity, and Impulsivity
People with ADHD have a hard time staying in the moment, predicting the outcomes of their current actions, and learning from past experiences. Their impulsive behavior often makes them risk without thinking. Their hyperactive minds keep switching from one task to another.
They might blurt out something insensitive, or make a big purchase without looking at their finances or having a discussion with you first. Their impulsive tendencies can often lead to reckless, even destructive actions. Takeaway: In many cases, someone with adult ADHD won't be able to explain their behavior.
These may include hyperfocus, resilience, creativity, conversational skills, spontaneity, and abundant energy. Many people view these benefits as “superpowers” because those with ADHD can hone them to their advantage.
Sometimes, people living with ADHD may behave in ways that come off as rude or disrespectful. These behaviors can stem from challenges with self-control, executive functioning, and self-stimulating actions. How you perceive their behavior often depends on your understanding of ADHD symptoms.
The roots of hyperfocus in ADHD relationships are complex, but the end result is often clear: While some partners may feel smothered, many get swept away by the over-the-top adoration. Then, when the obsessive love fades — or, more commonly, ends abruptly — the other partner feels abandoned and keenly bereft.
Because adults with ADHD constantly crave new experiences, maintaining a long-term relationship can be a struggle, even without the burden of criticism. If resentment builds, an their need for stimulation is likely to create the impulse to find another partner.