Being insecure Another reason why someone might cheat is because they are insecure. "Usually, in this scenario, the partner that wants to cheat is seeking out confirmation of their desirability," Winter told INSIDER. "And they use the reinforcement of a new person to bolster their own self-confidence."
Low self-esteem can cause people to be very dependent on the attentions of others—and in some cases, the attention of just one person isn't enough. It may also cause someone to feel insecure in their own relationship, so much so that they might cheat as a way of rejecting rather than being rejected.
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
Insecurity fuels a lack of emotional confidence and security, which can lead to major issues in a relationship. It's also worth noting that this is not the same thing as a lack of trust. "You may have all the trust in the world that your partner isn't going to cheat on you but still feel insecure," says Jeney.
Is your partner clingy? Watch out - they're most likely to be having an affair, says new study. You might think that a clingy partner would be least likely to stray - but you'd be wrong, according to a new study. In fact, people who are insecure and find it hard to trust are themselves more likely to cheat.
Insecure Attachment Style
5 Moreover, they're more likely to cheat, as they seek out reassurance from a third-party partner or attempt to avoid the intimacy of the primary relationship. 6 "There's always a sense of 'what's on the other side' and never fully being happy or secure in oneself," explains Skurtu.
People with preoccupied/anxious styles cheat because they are running toward closeness in their relationships.
“Some of the most common insecurities and relationships include emotional insecurity, attachment insecurity, physical insecurity, financial insecurity, professional insecurity, and social insecurity,” explains LaTonya P. Washington, a therapist at Choosing Therapy.
It can cause us to be suspicious of people and it can cause us to put expectations on others that are impossible to live up to. Insecurity is a major turn off in relationships for several reasons. When someone is insecure, he or she needs constant reassurance of love and acceptance.
Affairs usually begin with an attraction to someone you know fairly well, someone you spend time with each week — your friends and co-workers.
The most important thing to remember is what cheating says about a person. They're insecure, impulsive, selfish, and immature. Sometimes, it's a chronic problem that likely won't ever be fixed, just be sure not to ignore the warning signs.
Lack of Emotional Connection
Studies show that only 7% of cheating women and 8% of cheating men cheated due to sexual dissatisfaction alone. The vast majority cheated either because of a lack of emotional connection in the relationship or a combination of a lack of emotional and sexual connection in the relationship.
While cheating isn't a justifiable coping method, it does become a mechanism for dealing with pain when no other avenues seem available. And to many mentally unwell people, finding real help may feel utterly impossible.
Previous research generally suggests that people are less likely not to cheat if they are in a good relationship and the costs of discovery are high, and more likely to cheat if they are in a poor relationship where the cost of discovery is low.
Some people cheat because they feel neglected, or forgotten.
If someone is in a relationship where they feel like their partner doesn't care about them, they may end up looking for that emotional fulfillment somewhere else.
Key points. Red flags in a relationship are intuitive indicators that something needs to be questioned. Relationship red flags include feelings of insecurity and negative feedback from one's friends and family.
People may put others down for a wide range of reasons. Sometimes, they could do it because they feel bad about themselves and have low self-esteem, and so they put people down to boost their own confidence. Feeling a need to do so could have many different causes.
The kind of childhood you had, past traumas, recent experiences of failure or rejection, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about yourself, perfectionism, or having a critical parent or partner can all contribute to insecurity.
Face/ Skin
One of the biggest insecurities people can develop throughout their lives is how one's face looks; acne, oily skin, moles, freckles or even scars are marks that can lead people to think they're unattractive and therefore feel insecure.
Lack of Self-Esteem: Feeling insecure in your relationship can also be caused by a lack of self-esteem and feeling like you don't measure up compared to others. If you struggle with feelings of inadequacy or not being good enough, this is especially likely to cause insecurity in your relationship.
Why do people cheat? A wide variety of factors can bring out some type of affair. A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance.
Number of previous sex partners, impulsivity, relationship happiness and outside options are all predictors of who will cheat. Infidelity first occurred after an average of seven years of marriage.
“The trigger for emotional cheating in a relationship may be unconscious, where you develop an emotional dependency on someone else due to unmet emotional needs from your partner,” Dr. Dannaram said.