The answer to this question depends on the family's personal traditions and customs. Generally, it is customary for the groom's parents to give a wedding gift. This could be anything from money or an item that has special meaning to them, such as a family heirloom.
Traditionally, the parents might give a more sentimental gift on the day of the wedding, such as a family heirloom, to formally welcome the spouse-to-be into the family. But again, this doesn't have to be a large or expensive gift. This is particularly true if you are contributing financially to the wedding.
While it is traditional (although not obligatory) for the mother and father of the bride to receive a thank you gift from the newlyweds on the big day, a little memento from the bride's parents to their daughter is also becoming more popular.
Your son's wedding day is a hectic and heart-warming occasion, but it can easily become all about the bride, so many parents want to give their son something special on his big day to remind him just how much he is loved.
Of course, it would be amazing to give your daughter thousands and thousands of dollars as a wedding gift, but not at the risk of making your own financial situation dire. Depending on their relationship with the bride, wedding guests typically give between $50 – $150 when making a monetary gift.
An easy rule of thumb is to stay within the average range of $75 to $200, but you can adjust the exact amount based on your personal finances, as well as your relationship with the couple.
For parents that do choose to contribute, it has been said that the bride's parents pay around 45%, whilst the groom's parents contribute 15%. But obviously this will change from wedding to wedding. You may find that other relatives, such as grandparents and aunts and uncles, want to contribute, too.
Bride's Parents and/or Family Members
If you're going the very traditional route, the answer to the question “who pays for the wedding?” is “the bride's family.” But you'll see that even in traditional roles, the bride's family doesn't actually pay for everything—but they're definitely a big part of the equation.
Family heirlooms
These items can include jewelry, watches, or a personalized handkerchief. Family heirlooms are warm tender gestures that symbolize the true delight that the mother of the groom feels about having her daughter-in-law marry into the clan.
Calm his nerves
When the groom has a case of wedding-day jitters, you should be at the ready with all forms of support; share comforting words or retell his favorite childhood anecdotes to make him laugh. Hugs or a shot of tequila, work too. The goal is to help him feel better—without the fuss.
You certainly do not have to give your mother-in-law a gift, but it is definitely a welcome and thoughtful gesture.
Be Encouraging. Encourage your daughter to embrace her moment, her achievement, and how strong and beautiful she has grown up to be. While growing up, your daughter must have picked something from your marriage/relationship. Share a few words of advice from a married person's perspective.
It's customary to buy gifts for both the father of the bride and groom, but if you're stuck for ideas, don't worry.
However, you should know that you'll leave the bride and groom confused – they will either feel shocked or disrespected that you came empty-handed (unless you've told them ahead of time to expect ZERO gift from you). Is it rude NOT to give a wedding gift? The simple answer is YES, it's poor etiquette.
“Guests invited to a wedding ceremony, whether or not they can attend, should send or bring a gift,” writes Emily Post. For those invited to just the reception, it is optional.
Gifts aren't necessary, but they're the icing on the cake
Historically, guests send off the newlyweds into married life with gifts of household items (hence, the wedding registry). But these days, that's not always necessary.
It's not customary for the groom's parents to give the bride's parents a gift at either the rehearsal dinner or the wedding. Traditionally, the groom's parents host and pay for the rehearsal dinner.
According to the Brides American Wedding Study, parents cover anywhere between 35 and 42 percent of the cost of their children's weddings.
The bride's side of the family traditionally pays for the bride's wedding dress and the bridesmaids' dresses. Increasingly, however, bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses.
Unlike the past days where the groom's parents' responsibilities were limited to hosting rehearsal dinner and walking the groom down the aisle, today, their contributions are significant. A recent survey by WeddingWire indicates that the groom's parents cover up to 24% of the wedding plans.
Tradition dictates that the groom's family pays for the full cost of the rehearsal dinner, even though the bride's family and friends attend the event as well. That includes food, drink, venue fees, entertainment, and transportation. Often the groom's family cherishes this responsibility.
With the evolution of the modern family, compounded by the liberation of both women and LBGTQIA+ communities, there has been anecdotally less responsibility put exclusively on the bride's family. Instead, both families and even the soon-to-be newlyweds step-up to help fund the wedding.
"It's common to give anywhere from $100 to $1,000. I often see the card box on the gift table oozing with overstuffed envelopes," Burton says. "As a bride myself, I received one $1,000 check. However, this was from an uncle who is well off.
Most wedding experts agree on the following amounts when it comes to giving cash as a gift: Evening guest only: £20-£50. Acquaintance or colleague: £30-£50. All-day guest: £50-£100.